affecting our sex life...

[IdleButDeadly]

Does anyone else have this problem, or have had this problem?

My boyfriend and I have recently hit a rough patch in our sex life, I feel he's uninterested. I brought it up to him and he said it's because when he sees or feels the cuts on my leg it's a real turn off :( I didn't expect that at all, and wasn't sure what to say...

I've cut since before I met him, and have been with him for 8 years, and we've been sexually active for the most part of the relationship. I haven't cut the WHOLE time, it's on and off but have never been able to make it a year without doing it. So the fact this is just coming up NOW threw me off.

I don't know what to do. I'm not quite ready to quit yet. I want to quit for good, but I feel if I try right now I'm not going to succeed at that goal.

Now when we're intimate it bothers ME because all I can think about is whether or not he can see the cuts or feel them.

What do I do, how do I deal with this. I never wanted it to affect him like that, and the fact it's harming US bums me out even more (which of course makes me cut more and is a vicious cycle!).

I'm working on myself, am part of a self help workshop where you have a 'coach' phone you every two weeks and sends you workbooks that are supposed to help you to cope with problems, depression and anxiety. I'm on medication, am talking to my GP finally about my depression, and see a counselor every 2 weeks. I don't think there's much more I could be doing right now, but it kills me this is affecting my boyfriend.

Anyone else have this problem, and if so, how have you dealt with it?

[musicmad123]

Depending on where your cuts are you could get some nice lingere to wear that might cover the cuts a bit, your boyfriend maybe needs to accept that they are a part of you and there's not much that can be done about it. Have you tried Bio oil etc. to reduce scars ?

[CrazyChaoticMess]

I can only really echo what has already been said.
The fact you've been with him 8 years and his only just bringing it up seems odd to be personally, but maybe his just finding it hard to accept, give him time and try bringing it up with him if it starts to play on your mind, try talking to him about ways you would both feel more comfortable ;)

You can only quite when your ready hun, you seem to be taking the right steps towards your goal, but until you feel ready don't push yourself too much.
Good luck x

[IdleButDeadly]

Thanks for the replies.
I haven't tried bio oil, but that is a good suggestion. I do have this stuff to reduce scars, but you can't use it on fresh cuts, which I currently mostly have :S