i recently relapsed after 84 days of not cutting.
i try talking to people whenever i feel like doing it.
i try so hard to not do it anymore.
i'm scared of what my life is gonna be like without it. i've been battling with this for more than 4 years now.
i wish i could take it all back
heya, I get this, SI becomes such a massive part of your life,it's going to feel like something's missing when it's gone. But then i guess it can be replaced with better stuff, like more happy things, going out with friends, and wearing shorts and srappy tops! also 84 days is great, don't let a slip up get you down, just carry on and focus on the positives :)
Let the Force be with you
I'm not short, I'm space efficient
first off, you should be proud of your 84 days. a slip up doesn't take away that achievement.
you're right, like anything that plays a major role in your life, when you take it away, theres going to be a space left to fill. its much easier to quit if you work on filling the space as you go along, rather than just trying to not cut, but without replacing it with anything.
there are so many positive things to put in the space. not every option is for everyone, but there is something for everyone. you could try a new activity that you're interesting, or take up a new hobby. you could try volunteering somewhere or finding a job (that won't stress you out and trigger you). and something that is a way to get your emotions out, like art, or music, writing, physical activity etc.....
this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.
The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.
84 days is amazing! That's already a huge achievement :) You are doing such a great job, and definitely have something to be proud of.
It's really good you've tried talking to people when you feel like SIing, and have been trying so hard to stop. Have you used anything to distract yourself? I've found that listening to music and writing have helped me a bit. I also draw on myself with a red marker or pen, since it's the color of blood but doesn't do any harm.
We all slip up sometimes, and there's nothing to be ashamed of. Think of all you've gotten through already! You are winning in this :) There will always be another chance at recovery, so it's never too late to try again.
I really hope you're doing alright with everything! Don't ever hesitate to send a PM if you want to talk :)
*hugs and love*
"God take me, because I hate me" -Underoath
We are male and female. We are artists, athletes, and students. We have depression, PTSD, eating disorders, bipolar disorder, or maybe no diagnosis at all. Some of us were abused, some not. We come from all walks of life and can be any age. We are every race or religion that you can think of. Our common link is this: We are in pain. We self-injure. And we are not freaks.
thanks everyone.
i'm trying to get back on track but its hard.
i always get extremly discouraged everytime i relapse and this time trying to get back on track is hard because i dont know if i want to do it anymore. i dont know if i wanna stop right now
It can be scary to try to quit because you can start to identify yourself so strongly as a cutter or self-injurer that you think you might lose part of yourself when you stop or you're not sure how you are going to deal with every day life (at least that's how I felt). One thing I did after I stopped for a while was to write a good-bye letter to the tools I used and it helped me realize that they were not my friends and were not good for me. It helped me to see clearly and to realize that I really did want to stop and wanted to stop getting continually dragged down into depression and despair. Maybe just trying to write something like that will help you clear your head a little and be able to figure out what you want.
To be able to go any period without cutting is a great accomplishment and it just proves how strong of a person you can be. Fight those urges and stick with it and you can overcome this.
If you ever need to talk please feel free to PM me.
but im not always sure that i am ready to quit. its extremly hard and it makes me anxious quitting. right now its been a week i think since i have self harmed last. i dont always wanna quit but yet a part of me does wanna quit. i'm so confused all the time.
i'm tired of all this stuff. i just want it to be easy to quit but its not.
i hate this!!!!!!!!!
i just dont know what to do anymore!!!!!!
i've tried so many things to stop but nothing works!
I think most people go through that stage of wanting to quit but not wanting to at the same time...I think it's part of the process of quitting. You're going to have the best success if you are ready when you quit but I think it is possible to stop without being 100% ready. It is an addiction so it's not going to be easy unfortunately.
When I quit I literally just took things one day at a time. Like I decided I didn't want to have cuts on my arms when my parents came to visit so I was able to avoid cutting for a couple weeks so I wouldn't have marks for their visit. And from there I just kept coming up with reasons or excuses why I couldn't cut and that's what worked for me. It definitely was a long process but it worked.
And when I had some clarity and wasn't bogged down by the emotions of cutting I was able to deal with my depression and real issues because they became a lot clearer and I actually had a desire to get happy.
I hope this helps you a bit - I know it can be confusing and scary and hard. But you can stop - just be strong and try to get a support network that you can reach out to whenever you don't feel like you can be strong by yourself.
Like I said before please feel free to PM me if you need anything. Take care.
i know how you feel i had stop cutting but something happened and all i could do is cut. i know i shouldn't of done but i feel it helps the pain go away no i feel even worse because i had not cut for ages :(
i'm sorry to hear that happened to you. i know how it sucks. its all i think about right now as well. it's been 1 week now since i have cut and its brutal!!!!! all i want to do right now is cut!
i just dont know right now
i'm sorry to hear that happened to you. i know how it sucks. its all i think about right now as well. it's been 1 week now since i have cut and its brutal!!!!! all i want to do right now is cut!
i just dont know right now
just stay strong and focus on something positive, believe in yourself YOU CAN DO IT YOU ARE STRONG
