I made a decision today. I have decided that I'm going to actully try to stop cutting myself. I have been trying to stop since i started, but i have always gone back to SI. I have always avoided making promises to myself because i never thought that i could keep them. This time i think i may be able to. I've had a bad year, that will probably get worse knowing my luck, but i think i can find new ways to vent my frustrations on the world. I'm thinking about signing up for some counseling as well, but I'm not sure. I'm hoping that this will be my turning point and that with the help of this website and my best friend in the whole wide world i will finally put an end to this. It's a small step, but it's a step none the less. Well... Here's to hoping.
well done. you seem pretty determined which is great! looking into counselling is probably a good idea. do u have anyone you can talk to about whats been going on for you? it may sound like a small step but its a huge step and a vital step in stopping. it may not happen straight away and thats ok. so long as your working on it.. dont give up and reach out for support from those around you. well done again :) hang in there
"you never know how strong you are untill being strong is the only choice you have"
lozstar88 your my lopbelly night owl. CrashQueenyour beautiful and amazing like the vodka that stops the jelly from tasting funny :p
I think making the decision to try to stop is wonderful, so well done Also getting support is good too, counselling might well be worth looking into, I know it's not for everyone but when it works it can be great.
I have only told one person about my cutting and that's my boyfriend, he's really supportive, but doesn't always understand. I don't really have any friends to tell... they all abandoned me after finding out that i have panic attacks and had to quit my color guard team. Also there is no way that i could tell my parents... my mom would probably kick me out or send me to a hospital, or something, and my dad would be so disappointed in me. I wouldn't be able to take the guilt. I'm thinking that if i take it one step at a time by telling people, who aren't really involved in aspects of my life other than helping me, i can get a good start and move on from there.
...Unfortunately though i slipped this morning... hoping to get back on track soon though...
slip ups happen. its ok. whats important is that you still are wanting to stop... maybe check out local counsellors or gps in your local area that sound like you could maybe talk to them and you can always work through telling people with them.. i dont have much to say right now but feel free to pm me x hang in
"you never know how strong you are untill being strong is the only choice you have"
lozstar88 your my lopbelly night owl. CrashQueenyour beautiful and amazing like the vodka that stops the jelly from tasting funny :p
Good for you! Close, loving and open relationships are a key to recovering from addiction. Maybe tell two or three people so one friend doesn't have to bear the secret alone. Just my opinion. You just proceed as you need to.
I agree with frizzly, slip ups are all a part of the recovery process. I feel I can relate with what you said about your boyfriend and friends. My boyfriend is supportive but he's never self harmed or had mental health problems so doesn't always totally understand. I had a few friends where I worked and when I "came out" as a self harmer I pretty much didn't hear from them again.
I started to have counselling and they gave me help and support when I planned to tell my Mom. Telling her was hard, I was worried she'd kick me out, or have a panic attack or shout at me etc etc. It turned out that she took it better than I expected, she knew something was wrong as I had become withdrawn. So it wasn't all that much of a shock to her, although it still was a surprise.
It sounds like telling people who aren't so close to you would be a good start.
I know slip ups are apart of life, but it just sucks after having such a good day the day before. I have been looking at some counselors but my parents keep resisting because they don't think i need it. I'm going to keep trying though. I also agree that i should ease the burden on my boyfriend a little so he doesn't have to deal with all of this as it can get overwhelming, and that's kinda why i signed up for RYL. I don't really have any friends i trust right now which is unfortunate, but i feel like just doing this has taken a lot from my boyfriends shoulders already.
And I'm still not to sure I'm ever going to tell my mom... She is very opinionated and once she forms an opinion she keeps it. I had mono this past week and I'm just getting over it. I told her that i lost weight, because i wasn't physically able to eat, and she has called me anorexic ever since... After the panic attacks she thought i had a panic disorder, and the accusations and the many wrong opinions she already has of me makes me think that telling her would do no good. She isn't one for supporting others anyway, she would just ridicule me like she does with anything else i do.
I kinda tested her, to see what she would say by bringing SI up as a discussion topic (keeping it away from myself), and she started ranting on about how stupid people were that do that. She also said that it was disgusting and many other bad things...
I'm going to try to stay as positive as i can. There is a lot of bad stuff going on in my life and it seems like everywhere i turn there is a trigger. I'm learning to turn the other shoulder at them, and I'm not very good at it, but I'll get there.
You guys have no idea how much i appreciate all of the support. I'm not used to this at all.... I am usually alone when it comes to me SI-ing. So thank you, all of you, for everything
So Close Yet So Far Away.
But There Is Still
HOPE!
It's good that you're going to keep trying, hopefully they're come around to the idea in time. I'm sure it's not a burden for him, people generally want to help those they love and care about, but finding support from here does sound a good idea.
I tried bringing up the topic of self harm before I told my Mom, she said she just didn't understand why people did it and they must have been mad and dangerous. She totally changed that opinion when I told her I self harm. She understood more why people do it and although she doesn't understand totally she does try. I think sometimes people can change their opinion when someone they love is going through something, it suddenly becomes a topic that it a lot closer to them. Of course not all people do though.
So i read the articles that RYL had on stopping, and i think that i am setting myself up for failure... i have SI-ed more often since i decided to stop, and i feel I'm no where closer to getting rid of this bad habit. I read pretty much all the articles RYL has on Sh, and stopping, and distractions, but i can't seem to find a way to help me stop that actually works for me. I've tried a lot and it seems like nothing is working... I still want to stop and i am going to keep getting on it, but i need to work at it more.
I also hope that one day i will be able to be honest with my mom about this kind of stuff. I kinda want to stop first so that she doesn't... feel so bad i guess. I'm thinking that waiting until then would soften the blow for her. I know it will be hard, and I'm hoping that if and when i do tell her that she will eventually be able to look past what she thinks and accept it, and maybe understand. Then again if i stop I'm not too sure it would be necessary to tell her at all. Oh well it isn't like i have to make this decision now. I've got time.
So Close Yet So Far Away.
But There Is Still
HOPE!
Also getting support is good too, counselling might well be worth looking into, I know it's not for everyone but when it works it can be great.
