I know that feeling of being out of control all too well.
The truth is, I've tried to stop many times, and for me it doesn't work. Try and take control of your life again, but honestly, going cold turkey just leads to nasty relapses, I've been there many times. Maybe try and ween it out. I know it sounds weird, but I know people that it's worked for. Let's say you self harm everyday. Maybe give yourself one day a week where you make sure you don't do it. Then when you feel ready, set yourself 2 days a week where you don't sh, then 3 and so on. It might take a while, but I've been cold turkey before, and it just made me worse when I relapsed. I was going deeper, and I was doing more, so I personally don't like the idea of just stopping all together. I don't think it works. Just take it one day at a time, and remember that you're in control, no one else.
And about your friends... I used to think that as well. I went a long time without anyone knowing, but then I started therapy, and I realised that my friends are friends with me for a reason. Your friends wouldn't be friends with you if they didn't care. They do care about you. Maybe talk to the friend that you feel the most comfortable with. You don't have to tell them everything, but tell them that you've been struggling with a few things, and that you really need someone to talk to. If they're any sort of friend they'll listen to you.
You can PM me anytime if you need someone to talk to, I'm always here. :)
xx
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