help please tigger

[carla1983]

im on weekend away from the place im in got really triggerd yesterday as my dad was at my sisters who im staying with now im in the guest room and i have a blade fighting so hard not use it i dont want to chuck two years down the drown but dont know how else to feel in control? I really dont want this to upset anyone if it needs to be moved or taken down then please do. Im sorry not good at asking for support xx

[Pomegranate]

Well done for posting for support. I think right now what you need to try and do is get rid of the blade, flush it down the toilet or something so that the temptation is not there. I know that sounds like I am over simplifying it and I know it is hard to do but using it will not give you control. You have more control by not doing that. Could you go downstairs so that you are around people?

[Pi.R^2]

*hugs*
I agree with everything pomegranate said. Get rid of that blade if you can.
You CAN do this- two years is amazing; just think of all those times in the last 2 years that you've been triggered. You got over those urges, and you can get over this hurdle too.
I know it doesn't make a lot of sense, but not giving in is a way of being in control too. No one can control why you feel like this, but you can control how you deal with it. How about making some kind of reward system to get you through the next few days? Maybe a chart or something that you fill in at regular intervals; that way you can have control over your choices and see your progress, and give yourself some nice treats when you succeed :)