Triggering (Abuse) - Information Needed: Impacts of Abuse on Families

[completely_gone]

Hello Everyone!

I wouldn't normally do this, but I am struggling with verbalizing the impacts of Abuse on the family. I am conducting a presentation for one of courses at University, and well I was assigned to this part of the presentation. I have experienced ample abuse in my life, but I have never shared it with my family, and when my father did hurt me...he was the only one around to be of witness to his cruelty. I am able to describe and explain the impacts of abuse on the victim, but no so much on the family. So I need your assistance please and thank you. I am making a diagram explaining the various impacts that occur in a family when a child is being abused (in the case study that i have, physically) by their father. Can you all be so kind to assist me in verbalizing the other impacts. I know that it will touch home for some people, and I realize that it could be difficult, and please do not feel forced to respond, but for those that are able too, it would be greatly appreciated...

What I have come with so far is:

Fear - that the abuse could turn to someone else
Tension within relationships, and family dynamics.
Guilt

Thank you for your assistance. If you ever need to talk, I am always here! Stay Well. Should you have any questions please do not hesitate to ask!
Ashleigh

MODS: if this is the wrong place to post this, I apologize and will remove it should you deem necessary.

[Amaryllis]

Guilt is a major impact from what I've seen. I haven't seen the fear so much, but there is anger a lot of times because it's the whole 'why are you screwing up the family' for feelings towards the victim. It's easier to blame the victim than it is to blame the abuser.

There is a lot of tension and family gatherings are therefore difficult to deal with for everyone. Uhm. If you need any help, pm me.

[bloodletting]

hey....not sure if this is really what you're looking for and i don't speak from personal experience on this part....but i have heard that sometimes guilt is felt by a sibling that is not being abused..what i mean is if one child is being physically abused and one is not, they are both emotionally scared. it's almost like survivors guilt. if the abuse is witnessed by a sibling it can be just as damaging emotionally. hope that makes sense and goodluck, i hope you get what you need.
take care of yourself xoxoxox

[FireFish]

I’m going to keep it short.
My parents treat me like a friggin baby. Their so over protective now.
My older brother feels guilty. My brother isn’t the crying type of guy.. But we have been talking and he;s started crying and saying he was sorry. I think they all do.. Every one is angry. I go to therapy weekly and we all go once and sometime twice together monthly. Sometimes he talks to them with out me…sometimes talks to my parents before he talks to me.
I know every one had heard the saying about the evil twin…….. In my case it’s actually true. My sister’s are twins ( the witch, with a B, that abused me aka.. medusa.. ) has been disowned . it’s hard.. When we see family and old friends that haven’t seen for years and they want to know where she is and all that crap. I dk wut to say. To them. It; s really not something u want to go and say.. well she’s in prison cuz she abused me. U know.
I dk how it is for sure but I think it’s hard on my sister.. They were close. And to find out her twin was so evil… they don’t look exactly alike but they have the same features (eyes, nose, mouth, hair color…) well they looked alike except Medusa was a skinny bean pole and my sister is more curvy and shorter. It’s kind of hard sometimes. I had a sty in my eye some weeks ago and my sister got over me to put some stuff in it. I’m used to putting contacts in but not used to others putting their fingers near my eyes.. And I kept closing them .when I opened them up and saw her face I made me go into a fit freak out. We both cried about that all night. …all she did was try to help. I didn’t see her I saw her monster sister and when things calmed down and I was back to reality all I could do was apologize. it makes me feel bad ...

[Stellata]

Denial.
Mum said - 'every couple rows' [yeah, right]
In my case, it was emotional abuse to both me and my mum. Including domestic violence. So everything was insular, being as I'm an only child.
Secrets.
Outside people feared and not allowed in.