for pain.... an icecube. like aimless said, excericising or doing situps or pushups can cause some discomfort and also help get some endorphins flowing which will help raise your mood....
what calms a person down is individual to them, so that means that you may have to try different things for a while before you find one that works really well for you. listening to calm music (if on itunes you can also put the visualizer thing on), writing, doodling, art, taking a walk, reading a book or watching a movie you know well (that isn't triggering)......
for motivation you could make a list of reasons to not harm that you could keep in your pocket. make them individualized so that they are meaningful to you. they don't have to be the things that everyone says. you could also give yourself a reward for being free for an amount of time. you could make some way of visually seeing how far you've come, like putting a stone in a jar each day you're free, and taking one (not all!) out if you slip up....
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