Too many People are leaning on me :S *Contains S.I.*

Doikers · 09-02-2011, 07:51 PM

So I have friends. and tonight 3 of them need my support , I won't name them as they are all past or present RYLer's . But was online but her battery went and she is in a med centre , Someone has had to go to hospital , (Non S.I. reasons) and the third ( and I'm not doing this in order of how I care for them or anything) has been injuring in public , I am trying to keep up , to be there for each of them , this is like the 3rd time in 7 days I've had 3 or more people lean on me and I was wondering what you guys would do , I'm trying so hard but I'm not even feeling chipper myself but I would feel responsible for any harm that might come to them . Sorry , all feedback appreciated

pea soup · 09-02-2011, 09:37 PM

Hi,

That must be so much pressure. Sometimes we just have to let our friends "run the course" so to speak.

You can't save them...you can only be there for them BUT only if you're up to it.

I think you need to focus more on yourself even though your friends need help. Lean on people that you have also. And remember that you can't properly help your friends when you are sick and working on yourself.

I know that we support people all we can but sometimes we have to take a step back even though it's hard.

Support when you can and let yourself be supported.

here's a song for you. It is definitely a country song. hope you like it and hope I can get it to post,lol.

much love.
xxxxxxxxxx

grr..i cant get the song to paste. will try again later...

pea soup · 09-02-2011, 11:04 PM

Here ya go:

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdFtg9q1ARI"]YouTube - Trace Adkins - I'm Tryin' Lyrics[/ame]

PhoenixAshies · 10-02-2011, 12:15 AM

It's great that you want to help your friends (I understand, I'm the exact same way), but agreeing with what was said earlier: you've got to look out for yourself too. And as much as you give advice, and listen when they're feeling down, you're not ever responsible for the actions of another.

*hugs* If you need to talk or vent, I'm here, we're all here. Take care of yourself, and stay safe. <3

CagedBird · 10-02-2011, 09:22 PM

I think that every adult is responsible only for themselves. I don't mean to sound uncaring but I do think that everyone needs to take personal responsibility for their own lives. It can only be lived by them and the choices they make are theirs alone and the consequences of anything they decide they will have to deal with. What I mean, and I think i'm having a hard time conveying, is that there really is only so much one person can do. I think that is the hardest thing to accept because we all want to say the magic words to make people better but sometimes their pain is their journey and it has to be taken at their pace. There will be no magic answer, no healing words, maybe only time.

Personally I think the only thing you can do is support them as much as you can but not to the extent where it makes you ill. You need to take responsibility for yourself first and foremost as without your health you cannot help anyone. If I was becoming ill, and this has happened through a very toxic friend in the past, I would back off from it all...it sounds harsh but really it wasn't...it was the healthy thing to do and it is called setting appropriate boundries. Set your boundries.

~Grace~ · 12-02-2011, 03:26 PM

How are you feeling now? though its admirable of you to support your friends, you need to look after yourself too and dont get too run down by their troubles xx