"why are you still on there?"

toystoystoys · 01-09-2007, 09:20 PM

My boyfriend just saw I was on this site, he knows about my self harm but I've not done it for about 7 months now, and he just asked why I was on this site still. I didn't know what to say, I just said something like " Just because I dont do it anymore doesnt mean the problems just magically gone away".

I still think about it sometimes and have alot going on in my head. He then said " Its not like an addiction. Its not like alcohol or drugs you dont need to do it you have control over it. When you dont do it your not a self harmer"

I dont really know if this is right, I dont feel like that because I havent done it in a few months means all the problems have gone away, if anything there worse. I dunno whats right?

Toys x

pebbles · 01-09-2007, 09:45 PM

i think that self harm can be addictive
if you feel you still need the support and find the site helpfull then i dont see why you shouldnt stay on, not every1 on the site self harms.

he might just be worried that you are self harming again and perhaps you just need to reassure him.

take care xx

moth · 02-09-2007, 12:08 AM

He's wrong that it's not an addiction.
Because for many people it is.

And there is nothing wrong going on this site if you have stopped self harming.
It's better than starting again if things get rough.
Far far far better.

I think your boyfriend means well but, just doesn't get it. Know what I mean?

.ghost. · 02-09-2007, 10:34 AM

Self harm can be an addiction, that's one of the reasons people get urges and can find it difficult to stop.
I think he might need reassurance that you're not SIing again, but tell him that you're on here because you still need advice and support on how to deal with things, and you can tell him that this site isn't exclusively for people who SI. Hopefully he souhld understand that you're here because you still need support.

Take care
xx

Katey-lou · 02-09-2007, 01:44 PM

i agree that SH can be addictive. not all the time. but i know ppl who have gone a long time without doing n e thing and then soemthing happens and they fall bk into their ways. its a way of coping and thats how your brain works it out.

i agree that maybe your bf is scared that you are doing it again. maybe you should talk to him, or if u cnt write it down for him. reassure him that your not. its just hard stopping and trying to take control fo things again. and just like youve said it doesnt all go away just because u stop cutting or whatever its still there.

hope that helped a little bit x

Ami · 02-09-2007, 05:55 PM

Its not like an addiction. Its not like alcohol or drugs you dont need to do it you have control over it. When you dont do it your not a self harmer"

Ughhhhh thats what my ex said. "why dont you just stop? your not putting chemicals in your body so how can it be addictive?"

I think you release endorphins or something when you cut, and so thats why its addictive but im not sure.

Anyways hun. Everyone is welcome here, whether the SI or not. Its great you havent done it for a while too! But, just because youve stopped it doesnt automically mean all your problems have gone, hopefully you have found a beter way to cope, without harming yourself..

take care x

VanityStar · 02-09-2007, 07:59 PM

i havent cut in 3 years n i'm on here.
it is addicting. i believe that.
and even if i'm not addicted to it currently, theres alway the aftermath.
still.

just tell him you're giving other people support, too.

that was kinda insensitive.
whatevs.
i dont think you can really understand it unless you've done it.
and you cant really blame some one for that.

-Vanity

toystoystoys · 02-09-2007, 08:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VanityStar

i havent cut in 3 years n i'm on here.

i dont think you can really understand it unless you've done it.
and you cant really blame some one for that.

-Vanity

Yeah I never get annoyed at people who haven't done it for not understanding cos its not they're fault, theres no reason why they would understand.

I don't know if its technically addictive or not but I have got dizzy and sick when I've wanted to do it but haven't.

Thanks for all the replys :] xxx

Johanna80 · 02-09-2007, 08:21 PM

I deff feel bad when I'm not. and I only cut since middle of dec. (ok no-blood SI for over 10 yrs - but still)

Ami · 02-09-2007, 08:26 PM

random question..

but can you get withdrawl symptoms from stopping SI? emotional and physical?

toystoystoys · 02-09-2007, 08:29 PM

I dont know actually hmmm but I have felt ill physically when I've felt I really need to do it