Another thread got me thinking, about how each self-harmer is different in the way that they self-harm and that there are SH-ers who have many scars, some who have few, some who's are deep and some who's are not.
I'm an ex self-harmer, I stopped atleast 6 years ago now but my scars are so very visible. My entire left arm is covered from the top of my arm just under my armpit all the way down to just beneath my wrist. Half of them are keloid scars they're raised. 1 of them required 8 stitches the rest are sort of smaller/thinner keloid scars. I have scars over my hips, stomach and thighs that are nowhere near as severe as those on my left arm.
But when somebody looks at me, they see very clearly my scars, there is no questioning what they are from, it's just way too obvious, the amount of them is extreme.
I have some close friends I met about a year ago now and I brought it up with one of my guy mates about it, I said to him that I suffered from self-harm and that it's kinda obvious anyways. He knew what had happened but he was very sincere and he accepts that as part of me which was great.
But it made me think, I wonder what goes through peoples minds when they see me and they see those scars. I quite often refuse needles in my left arm because I don't want to confront people with having to see that kind of thing but I guess in a way they are confronted when they see me.
When I was self-harming I didn't care about the 'physical' damage I was doing, it was helping me cope with the emotional and mental pain in my life. Alot of people told me I would regret doing it because of the severity of my scars, and in some ways yes it does suck that they're there but in other ways it shows me exactly who I am. Well.. it shows my past. But i'm a mother and I've had accidents were i've gotten a cut on my wrist or arm and have worried people would assume it was self-injury.
So coming from a recovered self-harmers perspective I really never thought twice about it, I don't think i've ever seen anybody else in real life with scars to the same capacity as mine.
Like you my left arm is covered in scars too, shoulder to wrist, and i often wonder what people think when i go short sleeve, i get a lot of stares, occasionally somebody asks, to which i just reply stuff or i just go mmmmneaahhhhh, some kind of non descriptive word lol It's quite obvious though what they're from.
Not much advice i'm afraid, just thought i'd share (((hugs)))
I just want to say well done for going so long without it. I never really thought recovery was possible, but you are a real inspiration, so thank you.
My scars are obvious, though i only have a few raised ones. But my family and friends, my boyfriend, the people i care about know anyway. And i don't make a massive point of covering up, unless they're fresh. And if anyone looked at me and thought 'she self harms' then they're right aren't they, but im still me, so who cares?!
~If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see.. you can find out first hand what it's like to be me..~
WhichyWay is my baby sister.. I love you baby girl ^_^
My scars are very obvious. I've had stitches in quite a few of them. My right and left arms are completely covered from shoulder to wrist. My thighs have several cuts, one deep & long enough for 11 stitches. Like you, I never thought about the physical consequences so much before. Now... I don't regret it, so much, it's just it makes me really sad sometimes. I wish I had left one arm alone, or left my legs alone. I wish I hadn't been so arrogant, hadn't thought I would never care. Sometimes when I try to stop, I can't see the point- it will never heal.
I always wonder what people think when they see my arms/legs/everywhere else I have scars. I do get asked sometimes, and that's a really hard question to answer. Other times I kinda get the feeling people are looking at my scars. I hate getting shots and having my blood pressure taken, since it requires rolling up my sleeves so the doctor can see my arms. They look at me funny when they see...
Anyway- again, you've done an amazing job! Keep it up!
*hugs and love*
"God take me, because I hate me" -Underoath
We are male and female. We are artists, athletes, and students. We have depression, PTSD, eating disorders, bipolar disorder, or maybe no diagnosis at all. Some of us were abused, some not. We come from all walks of life and can be any age. We are every race or religion that you can think of. Our common link is this: We are in pain. We self-injure. And we are not freaks.
I used to make up some stupid lie, like I crashed my quad when I was dirtbiking. But I know that the placement of the scars is obvious so now I just say "you dont need to worry about it".
I can wear short sleeves and a bikini, and I feel totally okay with myself, because I know that the people I love accept me, and everyone can shove it! :)
But it took a long time to get to that point; just hold strong and try to not let other people bother you. I know it's hard :(
Thanks for all the responses :) I totally agree the questions are the hardest, I still.. 6 years on honestly have no idea how to answer it. When I was still self-harming I had my then 9 year old cousin ask me what happened to my arm with which I replied "a dog scratched me" she was young so I don't think her thoughts would have really gone beyond my reply but with adults, surely they'd know? I don't really get questioned anymore I think people would make up their own assumptions but it hasn't really put people off me so to speak but I guess I find it difficult because i'm confronting other people unintentionally!
Just a thought anyways *hugs* to those suffering a similar thing.
I have been cutting for 11 years. I have scars on both arms all the way up. Quite a few have been stitched and one required surgery. I ware long sleeves at work, but thats really it. I am not usually bothered by what people say or what they might think. Most times, if people ask, I just say that I used to cut...end of story. Other times I get a little sarcastic and say "I was trying to see what was under my skin." or "I was trying to get the microchip out that the aliens implanted." I got a tattoo a few years ago of 2 razor blades on my wrist. I am not ashamed of who I am and who I was. I don't feel I need to hide it any more.
