I want to give up but I know I can't..might be triggering

[strawberry11]

I am sitting here and realizing that I've been pushing away all the feelings I have had in the past and I don't want. they are there and when I see them appearing again I push them back. I'm scared that I'm just going to crash. I've been catching myself having thoughts of wanting to just shut down, not talk to anyone, just want to sleep and never wake up, I've even had the idea of SI run across my mind but I stop it. I've stopped all of it. I went to my doctor today and told him I am having a hard time focusing and hard time staying asleep he didn't change any of my meds. I've gained 15 pounds and I just can't take this anymore. I don't know what to do. I feel helpless because my doctor is not listening to me. I feel like he ignored what I told him because he was too scared to increase or change meds just because this is the longest I've been on anything that has even slightly worked. ugh..

they really need to make an icon of someone screaming because I would so be using that right now....

[hannahs04]

I am sorry you are struggling right now hun! **HUGS** I don't really know what to say atm, but I really hope that things get better seeing as you are doing SOOOO well right now and obviously don't want to relapse. *Hugs again*

[PassedExpectations]

you don't have to take an all or none approach to dealing with emotions. rather than trying to push them all away or deal with them all at once, you can cope with them in bits and work on getting through peices at a time. you could try writing or art, etc. (or make your own icons for how you're feeling)

[strawberry11]

so i went from having those feelings to being extremely happy and almost hyper. I would take this over feeling like that any day.