Anyone got any advice?

[confused.com]

I dont really know where to start with this thread....its 4 years today since my dad died and ive never really been able to accept that he has gone for good. I keep believing that one day my phone is going to ring and its going to be him, or someone is going to tell me that it was all just a horrible nightmare.

My dad was an alcoholic and I blame myself for his death as I believe I could have done more to try and stop him drinking. I could see what it was doing to him and I just didnt try hard enough to get him to stop.

People say try and think of the good times but I find that really hard. The only things I can think about was the last time I saw him when he was lying in the hospital, so still and so motionless and because I couldnt handle it I suggested we went home for the night and came to see my dad the next day....but guess what? We were too late as he died before we got to hospital to see him.

I am getting on with my life and am now engaged to the best man I could wish for and we are expecting our first child..it just breaks my heart that the little one wont get to meet my dad (their grandad).

I guess what I'm looking for is someone to give me some ideas of how to deal with losing my dad...and how to finally accept that i wont ever see him again :( :( :(

RIP Dad <3 xxxx

[Pi.R^2]

First off, it's absolutely not your fault that he died. He has an addiction that was incredibly hard to overcome. I'm sure you did your best for him, but at the end of the day it is up to the person themselves to get the help that they need.

Have you ever had grief counselling?

And how about making a photo scrapbook? That should help you to 'remember the good times', when all you can think about is his last days.