i "came out" as bisexual to everyone about a year ago, and never really questioned it until a few months ago. i'm currently in a blissful relationship with a lovely lad called Luke.... it's great.....but whenever it turns into something sexual, i cringe away like you wouldn't believe. and it's getting worse. now even if he just brushes past my leg with his hand or holds my hand, i snatch it away. and he notices, i fail at being subtle. i always have to make out that i'm really warm so don't want close contact...but i don't think he always believes it.. i haven't fancied a lad in....i don't even remember how long. i find guys attractive to look at....but that's it. i don't want a sexual relationship with one. it makes me feel sick even thinking about it.
my mum put some condoms in my bedside table earlier and i found them tonight. they shan't be used. no chance. even thinking about it.....ugh.
i don't know what i am. and i don't know what to do about Luke. i love him to bits, he's fantastic. he's a good looking lad. but i don't want a sexual relationship with him..purely for the reason that he is male. does that make me gay? IDK. should i tell him my doubts? hm.
advice would be MUCH appresh'! <3 xx
Rarely on here nowadays - I just trauma dump on TikTok instead.
so you are not alone in this. i was questioning my sexuality a lot in past years, and i thought i was bi then i didnt then i thought i was gay then went back to bi....and so on and so forth. i think you should maybe talk it out with someone you trust first then talk to luke about it, he seems like an awesome guy and i think he deserves to know and i think he will hear you out. i am not really sure what else to say, but know you are not alone and if you need anything PM me =]
xxxx good luck!
ash
take one step at a time, keep your head held high, and your eyes on Him, always.
so you are not alone in this. i was questioning my sexuality a lot in past years, and i thought i was bi then i didnt then i thought i was gay then went back to bi....and so on and so forth. i think you should maybe talk it out with someone you trust first then talk to luke about it, he seems like an awesome guy and i think he deserves to know and i think he will hear you out. i am not really sure what else to say, but know you are not alone and if you need anything PM me =]
xxxx good luck!
ash
:) thankyou for responding <3 i've spoken to my college friends about it and they all just told me to accept that i'm gay, hahahaha! i just feel a bit confused D: xx
Rarely on here nowadays - I just trauma dump on TikTok instead.
Honesty is always the best policy in a relationship and if he's the nice guy he seems to be he'll listen to your worries :)
Do you think it's purely the fact that he's male, or that sex in general is still something you're unsure of? Could you imagine yourself having sex or doing other sexual things with a girl?
hmm yeah i suppose so...i'm just worried about hurting him when i tell him D:
i think it's the fact that he's male...i have no issues with doing anything sexual with a girl at all...just...bleurgh..it just grosses me out to imagine anything with a guy.. :L :L
Rarely on here nowadays - I just trauma dump on TikTok instead.
I still think you're a bit young and it's early days to make a complete definite decision about your sexuality, but there's no harm in experimenting and trying relationships with both genders to see how you feel. He probably will be hurt but he'll be more so if you lie to him and he ends up finding out some other way - just take my family as your example :P
Good luck hun, I'm just a text away x
*nods* i don't want to make a definate decision anytime soon, it's too...definate! haha! and yeah...good example, hehe. :P thankyou doll <3 x
Rarely on here nowadays - I just trauma dump on TikTok instead.
hi...
if luke's not right for you (lovely as he is) then maybe you should break it off. as for being uncertain, the rest *will* come... nothing gets "decided", as sexuality isn't a decision... but it does fall into place. i had a bash at being "bi" but realised by 16 that me and guys were never going to work out. it's the whole penis thing, i don't like it. . but not everyone realises that early, and because i came out so young i did have a brief panic (**** what if i end up with a bloke and then everyone thinks i was a liar)... anyway i'm 24 now and haven't looked back but everyone is different. so yeah, what everyone else said- don't rush to label yourself, but don't do anything that makes you uncomfortable. these things fall into place.xx
hi...
if luke's not right for you (lovely as he is) then maybe you should break it off. as for being uncertain, the rest *will* come... nothing gets "decided", as sexuality isn't a decision... but it does fall into place. i had a bash at being "bi" but realised by 16 that me and guys were never going to work out. it's the whole penis thing, i don't like it. . but not everyone realises that early, and because i came out so young i did have a brief panic (**** what if i end up with a bloke and then everyone thinks i was a liar)... anyway i'm 24 now and haven't looked back but everyone is different. so yeah, what everyone else said- don't rush to label yourself, but don't do anything that makes you uncomfortable. these things fall into place.xx
wow, thankyou :) i can relate with the whole penis thing. it freaks me out. xD and ill try....ill post on here again with any updates as they happen. <3 xx
Rarely on here nowadays - I just trauma dump on TikTok instead.
Sex and love aren't the same. You can like a guy without wanting to have sex with him. Lots of girls are like that. They don't think of sex like guys do contrary to popular belief. Girls think about food the way guys think about sex lol. You sound fine.
i'm 17...so yeah i'm "young" technically.... god knows.
+ it feels more than not wanting sex...it's not wanting sex with guys in particular...girls, i wouldn't have a problem with..hm.
anyway..i said i'd update y'all :) i told him tonight. he took it really well and was being really supportive and told me just to do whatever was best for me. so we're gonna leave it a bit longer and see if my feelings change...will update you with developments as they happen. :) x
Rarely on here nowadays - I just trauma dump on TikTok instead.
hey, i'm really glad he was so supportive. he sounds like a really nice guy, and however things pan out, it's good to have someone like that on your side!x
Glad you told him - I think that was the fairest thing on both of you. Great that he took it well.
You don't have to commit to gay/straight/bi for life! You sound pretty clear about what you want/dont want right now. Go with that.
. but not everyone realises that early, and because i came out so young i did have a brief panic (**** what if i end up with a bloke and then everyone thinks i was a liar)... anyway i'm 24 now and haven't looked back but everyone is different. so yeah, what everyone else said- don't rush to label yourself, but don't do anything that makes you uncomfortable. these things fall into place.xx
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