Arguments, Money and Moving Out

Everything Inside · 24-01-2011, 12:52 PM

Last week me and my dad had a fall out.
I spent the weekend at my boyfriends to get away from the atmosphere etc.

I came home last night but he didn't.
My mum hasn't spoke to him either, and everything is just a mess at home.

He is in the wrong as he really had a go at me for messing up some paper work, but I only typed what he told me, I haven't (or don't remember seeing) seen any other record of that work done in the diaries, therefore I never invoiced it.

My mum is now really upset and she told me i need to speak to him even if i get a job move out what ever i cant just not speak to him.

But what do I say? I cant just say sorry, because its not really my fault. No sorry I ISN'T MY FAULT.
Im always saying sorry know matter who is in the wrong and im fed up with it.

I need to try and find somewhere to live now my boyfriend has offered me to stay at his with his parents but its hard they live so differently to me.
College mates have also offered spare rooms etc.

The thing that scares me the most is getting a job and moving on in life on my own.

Me and my dad have always been close, hes always helped me and supported me when he can, and I always pictured myself looking at house then taking him so I can get his opinion. He knows me well therefore he knows what questions Im thinking of, which ones to ask because I forget.

I just need some advice especially if you have been in a similar situation.

Thank you for reading even if you don't have any words of wisdom

Fran x

xgx · 24-01-2011, 01:20 PM

Sounds to me though your dad maybe has things on his mind however its no excuse to shout at you but maybe you could call a family meeting a sit down with your mum and dad and say somehting like maybe we both go our wires abit crossed but i didnt meen to mess your paperwork up as i never seen anything else written. Say that you dont want to keep arguing and that you would like his help finding a job and maybe a place to stay. But i will say living on your own is tough and not cheap so try and think it through.

Hope this helps

Everything Inside · 24-01-2011, 03:40 PM

Well I have been saving for a house for a few years and i didn't want to move out till I found a job. I was going to start looking for jobs once i finished college because I do find college hard I spend a lot of time at home on my college work.
I'm also hoping that my boyfriend will get his bum in gear and move in to a rented place for a while so we can get a house together.

My dad really isn't the easiest person in the world to speak to you see. This is why im in such a dilemma. and if he doesn't come home again tonight I won't no what to do. Im so close to just leaving and living in my car or at my boyfriends for a few weeks, but I just don't feel that comfy in his home, in the sense of being able to do things that I do everyday with eating drinking even down to how my showering habits are.

xgx · 24-01-2011, 03:48 PM

Could you maybe text your dad and ask him to come home so you could sort it out

Everything Inside · 24-01-2011, 08:19 PM

No. Like i said he really is that hard to please. Suppose i just have to wait till he wants to face us.

xgx · 24-01-2011, 08:31 PM

sounds as though he got issues is there anyone that he gets along with that can talk to him for you

Everything Inside · 24-01-2011, 09:41 PM

well. My mum tried to 'help' me put my point across, saying it isn't my fault he cant just have a go at me (this was friday night).
Then she said saturday night she tried to speak to him but she just got her head bit off. So there isn't much else I can do ... I have been sat in my room for a fe hours. Im just contemplating packing my bags.

xgx · 24-01-2011, 11:49 PM

Maybe Go to ur bfs let things cool down

Everything Inside · 25-01-2011, 09:21 PM

I had a chat and a cry with mum this afternoon.
She told me she doesn't want me to go etc.
I think she's thinking of us both going from what she said before.

I didn't relise my dad has more a less always been like this.
I know when your down you think of the bad times but she told me a lot and about how she feels.
Both her parents had both died by the time she was 14 and she told me about some stuff I never knew with her life then, and how my dad was etc. when they were first together.
She said she always stayed when I was born because she didn't want me to come from a broken home, she then distanced herself from me so that she wasn't attached because of how my dad 'chose' to bring me up, she thought it would drive me away sooner.

There was so much to take in it was quite hard im still in shock

By the way thank you so much for helping. It is really appreciated x