Honestly is there a point? [Updated]

[SundayGirl] · 23-01-2011, 09:12 PM

Ive been discharged from the only ED services in my area due to the treatment not really responding well with me, i found it difficult and really wasnt making any progress.
While under the services i got worse.
But i have an appointment with my GP tomorrow, is there any point? Ive been to the only place that could help.
Sorry, feeling pretty hopeless right now.

Lyddie · 23-01-2011, 09:56 PM

Sweetie, there is absolutely a point to going to see your GP. They might be able to refer you to somewhere else, or at least give you some sort of support in place. Please go, at least to see what options there are. If you don't go, then you will definitely not get anything, you've got to keep on fighting this. It's really hard, but you have to keep on trying, lovely.
*hugs*
Take care xx

yakerdeets · 23-01-2011, 10:35 PM

dont give up! go to your GP, and yes there is a point. your health and your future is the point!
hang in there <3

23-01-2011, 10:37 PM

if there is nothing to loose you might as well go. why not. what makes you anxious about it?

[SundayGirl] · 24-01-2011, 12:32 AM

thankyou for the support <3
I guess, well im just worried because my doctor has always been pretty useless in the sense hes made some pretty stupid comments in the past like "Just Eat" "You fail at recovery" [Like, he seriously said those things..:|]
& after being discharged from the ED services i convinced myself that it was because i was to fat for help, & im so worried all my worst fears will come true tomorrow & they just wont be anything left for me to try :\
*sorry for the ramble*

Lyddie · 24-01-2011, 12:54 AM

Can you ask to see a different doctor at all? Because your current one sounds like he has no clue what an ED is like or about.
You're not too fat for help, you're tiny, lovely. Is it possible for you to get referred to them again if you want? If you show that this time you really do want to recover from this?
I really hope they find something for you. Keep pushing for all the possibilities and help you can get
*hug*

EyelinerAndCigarettes · 24-01-2011, 01:31 AM

Do you want to get better? If so, you shouldn't have been discharged from the ED service, if you were working with them to recover. See your GP & explain your situation, & if you do want to get better & live,,, really live, then he should refer you back,,, there's only so much they can do if you are refusing to cooperate.

[SundayGirl] · 24-01-2011, 01:59 AM

I didnt know it then, but i know it now i do want to recover.
i think my problem is understanding what i have to get better from, if that makes any sense.

Lyddie · 24-01-2011, 02:08 AM

Well if you now know that you want to recover and you can show them this, hopefully they'll be able to get you the help you need and refer you to an ED team.
I think I understand what you mean, but remember that it is in the nature of an ED to not let you believe that you are ill. Think of all the negatives of an ED, all the horrid things it brings into your life, when you recover you will be free from that. You will have health and happiness. Stay strong and take care, love xx

MissAnonymous · 24-01-2011, 02:14 AM

Linzie, I get the feeling that you are still saying in a roundabout way that you still struggle to accept you have a problem. I think you NEED to accept you have a problem before you can be sure you are ready to recover.

You need to be sure. The more times you [unintentionally, maybe] mess them around, get referred back and they see no change in your motivation or commitment to recovery, the less likely you will be referred in the first place again. Its harsh but true.

Please be careful and think deeply about what you are ready for, and what your not ready for. Maybe discuss it with your GP, but be honest about what you can commit to [in the long term]. Recovery is a long winded process, and you will need to maintain your commitment for as long as they are treating you else they will discharge again.

I really hope this is what you want. xx

Also, I forgot to ask, but its important.. Why do you think you got worse under their care. Did you feel they were not caring enough, was the treatment not right? Either way, you need to think about how you can stop this happening again, and be clear about how you are going to try and prevent it. Sometimes it is necessary to actually tell them what you want and need. To give them the direction, after all you know you best, is it a dietry approach that helps to start with or a psychological approach, would CBT techniques help you rationalise or would you like to try a day patient programme, is it the practicalities of maintaining a healthy lifestyle that you struggle with.

[SundayGirl] · 24-01-2011, 02:21 AM

thankyou both for the advice.
& yeah, i do feel like im on a bit of a roundabout & "stuck", i find something inside me that lasts a few days sometimes but usually its just just hours where i want recovery, but then something takes back over & tells me i have nothing to recover from. I think its just complete denial because it feels safe, i guess? I dont know. Alls i know is i hate how im living at the moment & im so lost & confused i dont know what i really need, want or even thinking.
I dont want to waste anybodys time at all.
Thankss again

Lyddie · 24-01-2011, 02:48 AM

Try and hold on to those moments where you want recovery. Don't listen to that ED in your head that doesn't want you to recover, that isn't you, the real you wants to be healthy and happy.
Remember that you "hate how you're living", life will be so much better and worth living when you recover. Do you have a list of reasons of why you want to recover and what will be better when you do?
Much love xx

MissAnonymous · 24-01-2011, 02:56 AM

Can you find some CBT resources online and work through them in terms of acceptance of your illness as a problem every time you slip back to denial?

When you can stop hiding behind the denial your ready to take this on well and truly. Is the denial a safety mechanism, if so what for? And what is so bad about accepting your problem if it is the step in the direction of true happiness and self acceptance?

yakerdeets · 24-01-2011, 03:27 AM

i stopped seeing my main doctor because he would never treat me fairly even for a cold or anything because i was "too heavy.... if you would just take care of yourself you would have a higher immune system. im not going to treat you for anything until you lose weight" etc etc

my point is, your not alone in this. but yes please get another doctor. doctor or not, some people just dont understand period.

p.s. i dont see that doc anymore

*hugs*

[SundayGirl] · 24-01-2011, 01:46 PM

Thankyou again for all the advice everybody, & ive never thought of looking up CBT online, ill do that while im on now.
There are reasons that i want to recover lyddie, its just hard to balance all of these thoughts in my head.

I had the doctors appointment this morning.
I tried to be honest, tried bringing up my anxiety/depression, etc. Was shot down & told i was being silly. I didnt really get much from the appointment as the dr didnt seem to understand that id been discharged from therapy. But, he said he will make me another appointment with a different services but the waiting list is so long.
i said i feel as if i cant wait any more & he agreed and told me to ring up tomorrow but there is probably very little he can do for me.

Lyddie · 24-01-2011, 04:55 PM

Sorry that your appointment didn't go that well, love. But at least he's trying to make you an appointment, did he give you a rough time scale of how long it would take?? Are you going to make sure that you do call up the ED service tomorrow? Hopefully they'll be able to help you, now that you know you want to recover.
Stay strong, you can do this
xx

[SundayGirl] · 24-01-2011, 05:30 PM

No he didnt give me a time frame he just said wait, & im guessing it will be a long time. I dont even know what this other service he is refering me to is, he kept saying hospital & nutrition but was completly vague so im really anxious about it but i guess ill find out tomorrow.

Lyddie · 24-01-2011, 05:34 PM

*hugs*
Try not to worry or think about it too much until tomorrow (easier said than done, I know), but there's nothing you can do until tomorrow.
I really hope that they get something sorted for you, you need some support at the moment.
Take care, love

[LittleMonster] · 24-01-2011, 05:54 PM

Sorry it didn't go so well but I guess it's at least a good thing he referred you, I hope so much it will be more use to you & they will be more proactive.
You definitely need help & I am sooo proud of you for going!!
I hope it goes okay tomorrow & let us know asap

You can text me whenever too!
LY XXXX

MissAnonymous · 24-01-2011, 05:56 PM

I am wondering if he means the main dietetic department at your general hospital. I was referred there for advice on healthy eating once. They normally deal with diabetics and those with digestive conditions but can be asked to see a person if that persons GP requests it. Maybe you should ask exactly what service it is he is looking at and do your own homework in relation to finding out what its all about.

It may just be me but when I have no support, knowing exactly when a should expect a referral to come through for say, a dietitian appointment becomes important to me and I need to know all the details so I don't think I am being strung along or mislead as to what is actually being offered again.

I think he may be looking at another aspect of finding a way to treat the ED, can you make sure he knows your seeing nobody for couselling either because this needs to be considered at some point to. Be it by the GP surgery [some have in house or visiting counsellors] or back to general mental health services for a psychology assessment/input.

Hope that helps it seem clearer xx