BPP , getting worst?

samantharandi · 19-01-2011, 06:31 AM

im kinda scared to post this , cause i dont want anyone else to think im a bad person, but i feel my BPD is getting very bad!
i never use to be so violent , but the littlest things my bf does pisses me off. when we are in a fight.i get VIOLENT, he provoks it alot tho..
i just loose my cool. he has his anger problems , and it doesnt help that i have BPD.. so we are like gas and fire mixed lol
ive tried just walking away..its like an adrenaline rush. im not to sure if this has anything to do with my BPD.. but my moods change soo much :(.
i havent SH in a month. but a couple days ago ,i just couldnt take it anymore.my bf has scratch marks on his face and arms , i feel SO bad :(.at the time i dont think about it , its like i black out.
how do i keep from loosing my cool ?..
dont tihnk im a bad person :(. i LOVE my bf with all my heart.

dollpart · 19-01-2011, 09:54 AM

i don't have any advice, just want you to know you're not alone in it... i've been there too. *hugs*

samantharandi · 19-01-2011, 07:07 PM

thanks <3 :)

frenchhorn · 19-01-2011, 07:52 PM

can you talk to a professional about it.
I'm similar at the moment with my BPD.
I reckon the best thing is to talk to someone who could help.

I don't really have anything to suggest, cos I'm sort of similar, but your not alone

inblack · 20-01-2011, 08:36 PM

Do you have a therapist? If so I think you should bring this up with them, maybe they could help. DBT is a form of therapy targeted towards those with BPD, I strongly recommend reading up on this and looking to see if it is offered in your area.

I have BPD as well and have gone through times where it seemed to get worse. Medication has been the biggest help for me. Specifically mood-stabilizers.

Sorry, wish I could help more.

RemoteControl · 20-01-2011, 09:37 PM

I dont think anyone who understands what it is like to have BPD will think that you are a bad person at all. It can be absolutely impossible to control yourself sometimes. I behave exactly the same with my partner and he has anger issues also, so we have found it very difficult finding ways that we can both deal with each other, and we also love eachother very much.

Is there anything going on at the moment that is making you feel bad or down? Do you feel like your boyfriend doesnt understand or doesnt care?

Severe mood swings can be a symptom of BPD.

Maybe you could talk to your doctor who diagnosed you and tell them that you're finding it difficult at the moment?

I hope you manage to sort it out.