What's wrong with me?

ProzacSmile · 17-01-2011, 02:23 PM

Sorry to post.. just needed to vent some stuff. I've tried being supportive to others but i've been so self-involved with my depression recently.

I don't even know why. I have a gorgeous son, a wonderful boyfriend who loves me so much, and great friends and family.

So why do i constantly think about

The following content has been hidden - Reason : triggering/graphic

I'm struggling so much. I've been having trouble with my moods, i'm up and down all the time. My son's father is being an absolute idiot, i'm struggling with monery, i get lonely a lot (my boyfriend works and i'm at home with my son, plus he only stays 2 nights a week), and i hate the way i look. I lost a lot of weight in 2009, i had a relationship breakdown and pretty much didnt eat for 4 months, however loved the way i looked after. But after getting pregnant and having my son, i've put a lot of weight on and not been able to lose it.

It's just a lot of silly little things you know. But it's getting to me. It builds up and up and up until i can't take it anymore.

Sorry for ranting.

xxxxx

The 666th Pope · 17-01-2011, 03:04 PM

it doesnt seem like theres anything wrong with you =) if self harm is a coping mechanism youve used before, then feeling like falling into old patterns when your having a hard times seem rather rational when you think about it.

you should never feel bad about fantasising about something that once helped you during a hard time in your life. if you slow down and think about why you feel this way, and why that triggers thoughts about s/h, it may help you to stop yourself in the future before the urge becomes to strong.

anyways good luck, and i hope you feel better soon. keep safe.