Unsure.

hermit · 15-01-2011, 03:25 AM

I'm not sure if i should be posting. Really high anxiety. Not dealing well - I never do. I'm never sure if I belong - never seem to fit in. I'm having a difficult time and i don't know what I need, what I want or what I should be doing.

hermit · 15-01-2011, 09:32 AM

Really feeling alone and not coping well. Is there anybody out there?

Sigma · 15-01-2011, 02:43 PM

the Board's a bit slow today - but there's no reason why you shouldn't post!

Has anything happened to trigger you?

hermit · 15-01-2011, 08:02 PM

Nothing specific. Just having a hard time recently.

Merc · 15-01-2011, 11:25 PM

This board is very slow.
But as Tok said, pls don't feel you shouldn't post
Do you have any sort of care team? A T, couns., CPN?
Anyone you could ctc to talk to?
Would having someone with you help?
Do you have any 'grounding techniques' to help with the anxiety? Or prn?
I know anxiety can be so horrible and debilitating.
Hope you are feeling somewhat better.

hermit · 16-01-2011, 06:53 AM

The only care team i have is a counselor. I see her next week, but still haven't been able to open up to really talk to her. It feels like i keep too many secrets. I've told her about the SI, but not the extent of it.

hermit · 16-01-2011, 09:58 AM

I've made it this far alone. It's only recently that I've even been to talk to a counselor. That was hard enough. I'm so tired of this. My life is not going where I want it to go. It seems to be jammed in reverse, and every time I look up something else is looming over my head. I was in better shape 20 years ago. And I don't know how to halt the slide down - it feels like the entire mountain is coming down on my head.

CagedBird · 16-01-2011, 02:14 PM

It's good that you found a counselor to talk to. A big step. How long have you been going for? I found it really hard to talk to my therapist for quite a long time, maybe instead of talking to her about the hard stuff you could talk a bit about how hard it is to talk about the hard stuff (if that makes sense?).

I understand what it is like to feel overwhelmed. It is really good you are reaching out irl and on this forum. I wish I had magic words to comfort you.

ps - i'm sure i have asked this before but what does ctc mean? thanks.

Sigma · 16-01-2011, 03:06 PM

By the sound of it you have done something to stop the slide down - you've started to see a counsellor. And caged bird's suggestion is a good one - I did a whole lot of talking with my current counsellor about all the barriers to my talking openly with her and it really helped me to trust her

hermit · 19-01-2011, 03:04 AM

Some days it just feels like things are out of control. The sickening dive into depression - almost like someone pulled the bottom out of my world, and there is no rational reason for the sudden change in what i am feeling.

hermit · 21-01-2011, 06:05 AM

Right now it feels like I am reaching out and there is no-one there. Not in a good place at all...

ˈsäləˌterē · 21-01-2011, 06:16 AM

I don't know if I can help Hermit. I'm actually feeling the same way, but I'm here.

hermit · 21-01-2011, 06:43 AM

Thanks Solo. Shared experience eh? :/

ˈsäləˌterē · 21-01-2011, 06:46 AM

Yea, we're kindred spirits.

Anarchymummy · 21-01-2011, 11:38 AM

I wish I had some advice to give but struggling myself,sort of lurking about here but wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you and I know it's hard to open up to a counseller,I found that writing things down before the session helped and eventually she could tell how I was feeling without too much "pushing" x