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sorry- i inexplicably can't get this out of itallics.
I know this sounds a lot easier than it is going to be in real life, but have you tried just being really straight with him? My girlfriend knew I had problems with SI in the past and when I started again, I know she felt let down and sometimes angry, worried, etc. But after looking at some different sources online she got a better understanding of how SI works as a coping strategy, etc, and how to deal with it... it is hard for the other person to watch you doing something that seems so clearly counterintuitive. But if you let him understand a bit more how it is for you, and explain how being checked over makes you feel, that might help in the long run.It's not an overnight solution but he can try. Explain that him checking for marks makes you "hold it in" and then point him towards different sites, etc, that explain how trying to hold in or reject a coping strategy is actually more damaging than the self-harm in itself. It sounds like he has good intentions but he needs to know when they are producing the opposite effect. Also, try honesty- if you agree to try other things before self-harm, and if you agree to tell him, honestly, when you have hurt yourself (this can be hard and takes a lot of time to get right) then the trust issue might resolve itself as he will know that you're not "locking him out" of something which is obviously important to you. Really hope this helps.
Last edited by Shambles : 11-01-2011 at 11:10 PM.
Reason: Removed external like, please do not share links to other self harm sites without moderator permission.
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