More censoring, is the R&V even serving a purpose anymore?
From recent edits and such that I am not aloud to discuss I feel R & V is getting so close to becoming useless [at least to me] because of how little I can write without having to censor, edit, or just not write at all that the board may as well be shut and people told to vent in a private journal.
Labels were removed in R & V in particular because people I believe agreed it was always going to contain triggering material, now it seems like the triggering material is not aloud, another step towards more censoring in a board I felt was meant to have less.
For me if I cant let out what I am thinking as soon as it hits my mind, for the fact I have to double think everything then its not actually effective any more to me.
Does anyone agree, disagree and why. My mind is not 'made up' on this, but its definitely what I am thinking right now.
I can understand why the mods have mentioned about the way people use multiple *'s and x's to get across that they took a lot of pills, or cut a lot of times or purged more than once + I agree that you should just use one * or x but I do know what you mean..
When the trigger labels were removed, to me, it seemed like the R+V forum was being more open and it was out there that you should read the treads at your own risk because it was highly likely that the posts were going to be of a triggering nature but now, I don't know, it's almost like you have to re-think what you feel / write to save yourself from getting into trouble..
I can understand why the mods have mentioned about the way people use multiple *'s and x's to get across that they took a lot of pills, or cut a lot of times or purged more than once + I agree that you should just use one * or x but I do know what you mean..
When the trigger labels were removed, to me, it seemed like the R+V forum was being more open and it was out there that you should read the treads at your own risk because it was highly likely that the posts were going to be of a triggering nature but now, I don't know, it's almost like you have to re-think what you feel / write to save yourself from getting into trouble..
I agree with this, I respect the one */x as much as it annoys me because the multiple */x were really for my memory only and also I consider printing rants for professionals to see in the past. Then again, who can seriously guess the amount of calories I have eaten from *** or ****?!
I just thought the recent edits I have had with wording have been a complete 360 to the decision to take away labels. It was a shock to have had my wording edited because I saw nothing wrong with saying how I felt about something, its not like I said it was a good thing to DO, just how I feel about it for me, and me only.
I don't particularly want to use R&V and have used it much less since. I feel like I'm treading on eggshells.
We (the moderators) have noticed that the ranting and venting forum is being increasingly used for glamourising posts about eating disorders, self harm and substance abuse.
Apart from the blatantly obvious, what constitutes 'glamourising' is quite subjective I feel. I've noticed that more and more threads generally could fall into that category, but maybe that's just me.
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Whilst this forum exists to get things off of your chest in a safe environment
What is the "safe environment"? What does that mean?
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Another thing that we are aware of is the use of the ranting and venting forum to make mean, hurtful and bullying posts about other members without using their names.
How can that be policed? People could be talking about themselves or someone out with RYL.
As for the X vs XX thing, I think having two makes it clearer that you are talking about a number, which can help with the flow of what you are writing or reading.
As for the X vs XX thing, I think having two makes it clearer that you are talking about a number, which can help with the flow of what you are writing or reading.
It clogs my mind if I have something in my head, but cant spill it out immediately and instead have to stop, edit my thought on paper and then TRY to carry on.
I stop for long enough by not writing the numbers themselves and ***ing it out [not swearing here!]
When I read my rants back to kind of see how things have been, I don't know what I even meant at the time. Was I swearing at myself for binging, or restricting?
Normally if I rant about ED stuff, I write things I would never dare say to other people. Just to get it out of my head.
Now I'm feeling worried that I am glamourising the thing that is destroying me. So I don't want to rant anymore....
Which to me kind defeats the purpose of having a ranting forum. Don't censor it. Leave people to make their own choices about what they go and click on. I don't understand it.... RYL keeps claiming 'we are not responsible for...' yet doesn't let people take responsibility for their own viewing. It's a rather odd double standard.
But then I didn't agree with the numbers thing anyways. I found words like 'emaciated' more difficult.
Exactly. The things I say in my rants about my eating, I would never say to anybody else. And Jodie, your rants have never bothered me. They've made me sad but I've never considered them glamorizing. :)
Normally if I rant about ED stuff, I write things I would never dare say to other people. Just to get it out of my head.
Now I'm feeling worried that I am glamourising the thing that is destroying me. So I don't want to rant anymore....
Which to me kind defeats the purpose of having a ranting forum. Don't censor it. Leave people to make their own choices about what they go and click on. I don't understand it.... RYL keeps claiming 'we are not responsible for...' yet doesn't let people take responsibility for their own viewing. It's a rather odd double standard.
But then I didn't agree with the numbers thing anyways. I found words like 'emaciated' more difficult.
I get not saying stuff on the advice boards because that is for recovery and maintainence, but RYL has always tried to claim it is for people in all stages of recovery, and even there for people who are not ready for change, and now it seems like the actions and new rules wont accept anyone who isn't recovering actively. R&V was/is the one place where anyone can post, supposedly without consequence for what they are feeling especially when they are not in a place for accepting advice, but still need to let it out.
I do see how the numbers became competitive very easily for a lot of people, but if a person is so intent on triggering themselves by working out the figures behind the */x's then trust me, nothing and nobody can protect them, so don't even try!
I'm glad that the number of Xs have been limited to one now. Multiple Xs to me seemed just as... I don't know, glamourising? as having the numbers themselves. It feels like it just encourages people to focus on the behaviour rather than the feelings and thoughts that cause them. That said, maybe R/V is the one place that free-flow of thought should be allowed, without having to worry about censoring.
It's just that, like I said, I find multiple Xs glamourising and that's just a personal irritation.
Normally if I rant about ED stuff, I write things I would never dare say to other people. Just to get it out of my head.
Now I'm feeling worried that I am glamourising the thing that is destroying me. So I don't want to rant anymore....
Which to me kind defeats the purpose of having a ranting forum. Don't censor it. Leave people to make their own choices about what they go and click on. I don't understand it.... RYL keeps claiming 'we are not responsible for...' yet doesn't let people take responsibility for their own viewing. It's a rather odd double standard.
But then I didn't agree with the numbers thing anyways. I found words like 'emaciated' more difficult.
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Originally Posted by All I know is falling.
^^
Exactly. The things I say in my rants about my eating, I would never say to anybody else. )
These.
'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'
['There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']
'We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.’ – Oscar Wilde
‘It’s hard to dance with the devil on your back.’ Sydney Carter
RYL has always tried to claim it is for people in all stages of recovery, and even there for people who are not ready for change, and now it seems like the actions and new rules wont accept anyone who isn't recovering actively.
I think that has always been the case and I get that it is a tricky balance to get right. But then there are differences between not being ready to stop and someone actively encouraging it as a way of life. I wouldn't want to encourage anyone to have an eating disorder, to think they do or even want to have one. Despite that I still say things (about me and my thoughts at the time) which could probably be taken as 'glamoursing'.
In terms of self-harm, this site normalises it so much as it is that I honestly cannot tell the difference between a glamoursing post and a non-glamourising. Obviously it depends on the context of things, but sometimes the language used (hacking, slashing, gouging, etc) seems to be nothing but.
I have only ever seen cases of either one, or more commonly two Xs or *s used. Never any more than that.
See, but the thing with the X's doesn't make sense to me. I don't see how it's triggering..
If I read something and it has more than one X, I'm not thinking "oh they purged this much, I just read it and get on with my life xD
I have no idea if that made sense!
It makes sense and it's good that it doesn't trigger you but I can see how it would trigger other people.
I've read threads where people have said something a long the lines of "got xxx pills downstairs" or "cut xx times" and I think, to me, by doing that it just makes it more obvious that they have got a tonne of pills or they've cut more than maybe, once or twice.
I do agree though, that I hardly ever read threads that are glamourizing ED's or SH bar a couple. (:
If it's censored even more, I don't see the point in it existing.
My other thought was, how would it be more triggering saying I had *** calories, than saying I had * calories?
Wouldn't it make it seem worse?
This is how I feel too Claire.. "I wouldn't want to encourage anyone to have an eating disorder, to think they do or even want to have one. Despite that I still say things (about me and my thoughts at the time) which could probably be taken as 'glamoursing'."
There is a difference from saying big cuts are good, and that big cut felt good. If its about you personally, its a feeling, pertaining ONLY to yourself. Nobody should stop saying how they feel about your own life, behaviours and feelings.
I feel what had been edited for me, confused the hell out of me as to what I could now post. And I am still very confused. When you enter the R&V it has a warning that its all potentially triggering and graphic. I think people should exercise more self control to protect themselves in R&V and its only one board that is different in its style to the rest of the boards for the fact it has no reply feature. I'm not sure what I am trying to say, I am sure someone will come up with a better version of what I am saying soon!
Honestly guys, i think that this relates to only a very small percentage of posters...
I think aside from replacing *** with * its fine to go on posting as you are because it *is* a ranting and venting forum so no one should have to censor their own thoughts... i never swear in real life, i'm not exaggerating or saying that to make myself look 'good' but i just don't, it's not me and yet i swear when posting in R/V - not intentionally, but when i'm ranting or venting i'm not in the frame of mind to edit that out and i think the mods understand that... so IMO its ok to keep posting as you are, that's what it's there for, but equally, take note if the mods have had to edit your posts or have warned you...
I really hope that doens't come across as me saying completely ignore the mods or anything, because i'm not saying that, what i am saying is don't let an announcement that may not be aimed specifically at you get in the way of you using what is otherwise a very helpful tool on RYL.
My other thought was, how would it be more triggering saying I had *** calories, than saying I had * calories?
Wouldn't it make it seem worse?
I can see what you're getting at but I think the mods just meant anything to do with numbers / weight / occurances / calories / what ever else! should simply have, one * or x ..
I honestly can't understand why your so angry. So you have to use only one X/*, how does that make the R&V board less "open"?
I think you are making a mountain out of a molehill.
If you NEED to use numbers there is always xanga, livejournal, wordpress and blogspot.
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
Of course if someone wants to use numbers then they need to go somewhere else, but being told you can only use one x/* in place of a number is different. What difference does it make if someone uses one or uses five? This seems to be a new thing that has just cropped up.
I don't think anger is the word. And everyone has an opinion.
Wording has been edited too, if you don't know exactly what has been edited, I am not sure how you can have such a steadfast view.
I am aware of the other sites, I just find it helpful to do it here since I reply to support people here too and post for myself as well.
I didn't say I 'NEED' to use numbers, I said my wording over my feeling and actions shouldn't be edited. If I am making a 'mountain out of a mole hill' there are a lot of 'mountains' being made since I am not the only member who has this opinion.
Maybe you disagree, but we'll leave it at that.
EDIT; Claire, I get what you mean, the more 'telling' what I can and cant write, right down to how many */x I type is excessive to me.
