What do you do when...?

[one_step_closer]

What do you do when you are so suicidal and are sure that you are going to do something dangerous which may or may not kill you but the one thing that would keep you safe, hospital admission, isn't an option? I's in my management plan that I haven't ever to be admitted to hospital. In the past I have spoken to professionals about the men in my head trying to kill me and they have told me to go home. On that instance the men did try to kill me and I ended up ill on a medical ward. This time it is by my own devices, I am sick of being alive and don't have the iternal resources needed to get through life so I want to go through with suicide.

At the same time I need to stay alive for my brother. He is 19 and we have lost both of our parents. We have some extended family but we're not close. If I was to kill myself it would devastate my brother and ruin his life but I feel like the urge is so strong at the moment that I can't fight. The last time I was allowed to be admitted to a psychiatric ward I was just as bad as this. I just don't know what to do or how to keep myself safe. There is no way that I am telling my brother how I am feeling.

[startingagain]

I guess you could go to A and E and talk to the duty psychiatrist. Even if they aren't allowed to admit you it would keep you safe for a while and maybe they could get the crisis team to see you?

[Too Shy]

I agree with startingagain - if you feel at serious risk of harm, go to A&E if you canm and ask to see the duty psychiatrist. Even just that immediate release of talking might relieve those feelings in the short-term, even if not in the long-term.

Alternatively, if you are feeling suicidal and think you're at risk of doing something dangerous, you can call 999 and ask either for an ambulance or for the police, which isn't as scary as it might sound because they won't necessarily detain you or force you into anything, but they may be able to contact a crisis team for you or arrange some immediate support.

Does your management plan suggest anything else you can do if you feel very bad? Are you in touch with a crisis team at the moment, or getting any support, someone you can tell these feelings to?

[Stellata]

How're you doing today, Lindsay?

[one_step_closer]

Thanks everyone.

Even when I ask to speak to someone from the psychiatric assessment team at A&E I usually just see someone for about a minute where they tell me that my management plan says that I am not to be admitted and that I should stop wasting their time. Once I wasn't even allowed to see them at all and was told that I should stop playing the system. I just wanted to talk to someone and I said that to them but they ignored me.

It's in my management plan to use community resources like my OT, psychologist, and the voluntary crisis team. I am working with my OT and psychologist as best as I can and when I call the voluntary crisis team they usually tell me to do things like do a jigsaw. Once I was at a train station and they told me to go home and make dinner for my brother.

I feel like no one wants to listen or help.

[startingagain]

Perhaps you could try the Samaritans if you need to talk to someone? You can ring or they do drop in sessions if you prefer face to face.

[Stellata]

What if someone wanted to listen?

[FragileWings]

I think I would find Samaritans much better phone support system, they are working voluntarily and more willingly to listen and understand your problem. They will try and help you best way possible. Although their are some nice workers in mental health care about, but not very often.

I always get the 'distraction' card get pulled. It's starting to get boring. maybe you should put them on the spot, and be like "What about my feelings?". I read somewhere that emotional invalidation contributes to BPD.

I have a bit of a biased opinion though as I hate my crisis team/support system.

Anyway that's my two cents.