Numb

Vyb · 05-12-2010, 07:28 AM

I need to know what's wrong with me, for about 7 months now I have had little to no emotions, opinions, or interests. I don't care too much about the world around me or anyone else and I care somewhat about myself. I'm 15 and most of the time I spend, I spend alone, my dad goes to work till 7 each day, and I basically sit around and do nothing but smoke weed and think about what's wrong with myself. When I talk to people I have trouble finding words to say at a regular pace, so I speak slow and I mumble alot, the volume of my voice is low, and when I say something in a group people will be like "Huh?". So people think I'm awkward to be around. I very calm and layed back and I keep to myself, kinda an introvert, I never used to be this way and I don't know how it started, when I was little I used to be very hyper and outgoing (and annoying). I don't know if it's weed or what, but I'm sick of it. I also get weird paranoid thoughts, alot of times I think people are watching me through my window when the blinds are down, and when I'm around people I try to modify my actions just so I don't look weird, and it gets to the point where all I think about is how I can make myself not look weird even when they aren't paying attention. I don't know what's wrong with me...I might just be paranoid. You guys tell me.

tamobhuuta · 05-12-2010, 10:54 AM

i'm afraid we wouldn't know what's wrong! but have you considered going to your doctor and telling him/her these things? it sounds like they're having a big impact on how you feel so i think it would be worth investigating. also do you ahve any friends you could talk to about the social situation?

Vyb · 07-12-2010, 02:12 AM

I'm sorta self conscious about it, and I don't have too many friends, my ex girlfriend from last year spread some stupid rumors about me that everyone keeps ahgainst me, and nobody really cares too much about me even though I am quiet, mind my own business and just try to help people out..they just don't like me for some reason, maybe I'm socially awkward.

tamobhuuta · 07-12-2010, 09:25 AM

that must make things hard, what your ex did -offers hugs- can you go to the doctor about your mood and your fears? also, tell me to mind my own business if you like as i know nothing about these things really, but i should think smoking weed all the time isn't helping, you know?

Kitkat :) · 07-12-2010, 02:27 PM

I don't think the weed's helping you, I'm also a weed-smoker myself and I find that now I care about very little things, basically I feel the same way as you. I've often described myself as feeling numb because, like you, I have very little interest in doing things. In short, I can really relate to you.

It might also be that a vicious cycle that you're in - you don't feel anything, so you smoke weed as a release which in turn numbs what you're feeling and makes you less bothered about things, so you end up feeling like this and end up smoking more weed.

Maybe you could smoke less weed as opposed to stopping completely? This may help you; in my experience I've found that when I've smoked less or stopped for a while I feel more lively and willing to do things.

In short I can relate so much to what you're saying and experiencing, so you're not alone there. If you want to you can PM me if you have any problems that you want to talk about or just to chat generally, my PM box is always open (: