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ptsd controlling my life
Hi everyone,
I feel as though I have lost my sense of self. most of my time is spent filing through flashbacks and pts-fuelled scenerios. i cant remember the last time i had time to myself, and its rather scaring me.
thing is, outside of the ptsd world of passion and despair, i am emotionally numb, apathetic. basically my life is going nowhere because i have no motivation.. i have no direction anymore, no sense of fulfillment. i am chronically indecisive. when bad things happen to me now, i dont emotionally react, its just water off my back and i carry on like it never happened, but then so are the good things in life as well.
ive completely lost touch with the people around me, i feel like im trapped in my own lil bubble outside of society. when i talk to people on RYL about their difficulties in life, it's like im reading an invisible manual for how to interact with others and comfort them, where once i was empathic and helping others was second nature.
i dont know whats going on. ive been like this for nearly two years, and i only just noticed it today. i feel like i should be panicking and pulling my hair out, but its almost like my mind refuses to acknowledge such a thing.
Thanks for reading.
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