Self acceptance

[Feetjiepop]

Hallo all,

Do you find the website supportive? I am really not in a good space and are hurting so much inside, I feel so unloved and worthless and I don't know how to accept myself.

[random.swirls]

I think it can be highly supportive but I think it is important to realise that the members won't have all the answers.

Accepting yourself can be really tricky but there are some techniques you can try e.g. writing down one thing you like about yourself each day and add it to a list in time you will have a list that shows how fabby you are. The good things could be as simple as I like my hair, I have amazing friends etc.

Have you told anyone in real life how you are feeling?

[Pomegranate]

Can you talk anymore about why you are 'not in a good space' and what is going on for you? I know it is hard when you are feeling crappy but the more specific you can be the more people will be able to try and help.

What do you think might help you accept yourself more? I think random.swirls idea is a good one. There is actually a thread I saw somewhere very similar to that idea....maybe you could try and visit that when you log on to get some encouragement for doing that as well.

Nobody is totally worthless, if you were then you would be unique and that in itself would make you worth something! :P

[Feetjiepop]

Hallo Swirl and Pomegranate

Thank you for your messages. It is very hard to write things I like about myself because if I am truly honest, I don't like myself at all at the moment. I use to think that I was pretty and kind and loving and friendly. I have told people out here how I feel and I understand I need to make the change in myself and thoughts ... I just don't seem to want to try anymore, is that giving up then. I think it is.

I will go and have a look if I can find the thread.

I dont know where to start so I will start what is happening currently in my life. I dont have a job, I was retrenched and my confidance is zero so I don't know how to sell myself in an interview, I use to be very good at finding a job and I do work very hard at it. My husband moved out of the house 2 weeks ago. He flew to Scottland last night and we are on very bad terms with each other. The relationship was emotional very abusive from both our sides and it became physical abusive from his side. I was in hospital from 11 Oct - 15 Nov for treatment of depression and this was the most difficult time in my life. They wanted me to face my childhood which was very traumatic. I found out that I have endimetriosis which means I cannot have a baby unless I go for invitro which is not afordable and obviously I am not now ready by being this sick. Now my husband is gone so my dream is almost lost. I turned 36 last week. I love children so so much, they give me joy and they are just little angels. I as married before and it seems that I do not have the ability to have a good marriage. Thank I make wrong choices. I dont feel that I have a purpose or something to offer to this world. I am going to loose the place I stay in if I am not able to find and keep a job and get strong.

Sorry for being so negative, this is my feelings honestly today.

[pea soup]

hi there,

did the hospital stay help you at all?
also, if you are dealing with childhood trauma, it can become very overwhelming. i think you will need the support of a therapist and a a psych. meds could also help.

please stay in touch and if you dont have support in real life, please get some. this will be very hard to do alone. but i applaud you for taking the first steps :)

loves.
xxxxx

[offlineforever]

A bit of advice I was given that has always stuck with me is the following;

If it is almost impossible to find something good in yourself, the only way that you can forgive and move on is to look at yourself from the perspective of someone else.

What they meant was, if a friend compliments you, only then can you begin to like and accept yourself for who you are.