I know that confidentiality i sbroken when your seen as a risk to yourself/others.
It just seems very vague to me - how much can you tell them before they deem you to be a risk to yourself?
the most important things are the hardest things to say...
...And you make revelations that cost you the most, only to have people look at you in a funny way.
not understanding what you've said at all, or why you though it was so important that you almost cried when you were saying it.
It's not about whether you've been feeling like or thinking of hurting yourself or others per se. What they're looking for is intent, so whether you're planning on doing something about it. So maybe they'll ask you whether you've made plans etc.
Are you worried that if you say something something bad will happen? Who are you thinking of talking to?
The helpline consellor (though its through email) wants to know why I dropped marks so i wouldnt get into honours.
and i did it so there would be a reason for people to understand..
does that count as a plan/intent?
what do they do? Can they trace email? o.O
the most important things are the hardest things to say...
...And you make revelations that cost you the most, only to have people look at you in a funny way.
not understanding what you've said at all, or why you though it was so important that you almost cried when you were saying it.
You've been emailing a school (?) counsellor because they're worried about your marks dropping, and then you said that you've been feeling suicidal, so that they understand why your marks have dropped?
What was it you said to them exactly? Did you say you had done or are just about to do something? And how old are you? And have you spoken to them before about MH problems/feeling suicidal or is this the first time?
I'm sorry for all the questions, I'm just trying to understand what's going on for you at the moment.
From what you've said so far, I don't see why they would . . .
I'm just wondering though, was there a part of you that told them that not just because of the marks thing but because you have been feeling suicidal (?) and maybe because you needed someone to talk to?
I've been emailing the Kids Help Line - and I mentioned that I dropped my marks so that i would fall below the cut off score for gettign accepted into the honours program.
And he wants to know why I dropped the marks.
The following content has been hidden - Reason : what I told him - sorry kinda long
Because there are rules – I wasn’t suppose to get honours at my uni if I wasn’t interacting – that it was a punishment for being so stupid.
But more so, not getting into 4th year at another uni, it gives me a reason, proof that I don’t belong. And it gives them a reason to understand; something concrete. Because even if they don’t really care now, guilt can skew perceptions – and at least this way there is something to understand.
Even scary tutor told me I won’t get in; universities don’t want to accept people from honours outside their own uni. But that’s the point – if I belong, I would get an offer despite being an outsider. If I don’t belong then I won’t get an offer. Simple.
You want to know something funny – I actually got in – I wasn’t suppose to get in
It was only suppose to be getting an offer that mattered. But it keeps changing. The grad dip offer doesn’t count because it’s a grad dip – it’s not honours. The honours offer doesn’t count because its part time – not full time. It’s in Sydney too. And we can’t do part time – I'm already 2 years behind everyone else, I don’t need a third. And the rules keep changing, and there not suppose to because they’re rules. And my head keeps telling me to wait – wait for a better offer – wait for LaTrobe or something, even if I didn’t survive at LaTrobe last time. And anyway, I got into uni under false pretences – my grades are a lie. It keeps telling be that I don’t have to let anyone know that I got an offer, no one has to know. It can be a secret. The other unis won’t accept you – that can be your proof. Getting into uni proves nothing – your still going to fail, still going to be the fundamentally flawed person that you are. Might as well still wait for the rejection letters – we’ll have proof then.
I've been talking to him for a month or two, and the only time anything was mentioned about suicied was when I said that i didnt deserve to live. he replied saying he was concerned but thats all.
I dunno, im sorry if im still not making sense..
thanks for replying :)
the most important things are the hardest things to say...
...And you make revelations that cost you the most, only to have people look at you in a funny way.
not understanding what you've said at all, or why you though it was so important that you almost cried when you were saying it.
Hey, thanks for explaining, I'm on the same page now :)
Ok, in which case the answer is that it depends on their rules but in this case, I can't see them doing so. Firstly, to talk about confidentiality, some places, like the Samaritans will never, ever break confidentiality, unless you ask them to. Other places have different rules. I guess the other issue is web based support is fairly anonymous.
If I'm being honest, I'm not seeing where you're telling him you're feeling suicidal. I can see you're feeling guilty and angry and that things seem hopeless and you feel like a failure though. And you aren't. And I'm not seeing you explicitly say you feel suicidal, although I can see that there are loads of things going on in your life that might be making you feel that way.
Are you feeling suicidal at the moment?
Last edited by Coffeemate : 19-11-2010 at 03:10 PM.
Reason: rephrasing
I know these people will break confidentiality - they have that up on their website.
i was trying not to say it to him explicitly, im hoping that he doesnt figure it out.
that i dropped the marks so i wouldnt get into honours, so my familiy would have a reason to understand why i killed myself...
does it have to be said explictly?
the most important things are the hardest things to say...
...And you make revelations that cost you the most, only to have people look at you in a funny way.
not understanding what you've said at all, or why you though it was so important that you almost cried when you were saying it.
I think if you need someone to know your GP or you local hospital is the best place to start. He might or might not say anything, I don't know, but it seems like you're asking for help and I know that a dr will act on it.
~x~
Edit to add: Is there someone at the University you've been speaking to as well? Perhaps a student counsellor there?
Last edited by Coffeemate : 19-11-2010 at 03:28 PM.
Reason: to add stuff
I dont have a GP, and i dont want to go to the hospital - just makes me feel like im wasting there time or that im a lier..
i dotn want that counselor to break to the confidentiality - i dont want a random ambulance turing up to my house one day. i dunno, i just want to tell him with out telling him if that makes sense.
No, I dont see anyone at uni or anythign like that.
Thanks for being so helpful. i really apreciate it
the most important things are the hardest things to say...
...And you make revelations that cost you the most, only to have people look at you in a funny way.
not understanding what you've said at all, or why you though it was so important that you almost cried when you were saying it.
An example of, I believe, when they break confidentiality would be something like this: "I hate life. I'm going to jump off that big bridge near town tommorow night" rather than opposed to "I want to die, like jump off a bridge or something" because the former insinuates a plan, whereas the latter is usually just thoughts, but I suppose if you have a traditional-minded doctor/social worker/counsellor/etc, they could perceive the latter as a plan as well and ask more into it.
And, not to scare you or anything, but they're most likely to call the Police if you say you have a plan to kill yourself or harm someone else (soon), because Ambulance Crew/Paramedics aren't trained to restrain people in case they get resistant and/or violent. They'll attend, sure, but with Police presence only a few feet away. If it's not an emergency, they will get in contact with social services/your mental health team if you have one, and ofc your GP.
Can I just ask why you want to tell him you have a plan, but not want him to break confidentiality? Or is it that you want help with the thoughts. By the way, should he choose to break confidentiality, it will only be to help you. What are you afraid of? They don't section people as easily as they did in years gone by, that's reserved only for the most serious of suicidalists/risk to others, if they decide hospitalisation is neccessary, you will be given an option to go in voluntarily, which lasts under a week, and doesn't give you any black marks on your records.
