Tomorrow at 2pm, Ill be saying goodbye to my social worker and hello to my new CPN. I also have a CPA, and AHHT are coming.
Thats fine, thats not the problem.
The problem is I have massive attatchment issues, and I dont know how to cope with saying goodbye to my social worker, Ive had her since I was 17, now 22, and she is handing me over because she doesnt think she can help me anymore and she is "exhausted" with my chronic illness and my constant crises.
So how on earth do I let go of her? How on earth do I say goodbye, when I cant bare the fact that she is going?
Anyone else have attachment issues? That could give me some advice.
Attachment issues with professionals are quite common, I'm the same, I guess you need to come to terms with the fact she will be going, and you do have to say goodbye to her. Maybe tell her how much she means to you, & thank her for everything she's done for you. Maybe buy some flowers, or a nice card, or better yet, make a card for her? This is what I did, and it did help come to terms with my professional leaving me. It's just you moving on to someone else who can help you better. She has to do what's best for you, try to remember that.
I really do sympathize with you though, it is really difficult saying goodbye to someone you are attached to, maybe you could write to her every so often & let her know how you're doing? Would that help you let go? Gradually stopping contact with her?
Hiya Sarah
Thanks for your reply, it means a lot.
You mention some really good ideas, especially making her a card, that will also keep me distracted so I will do that.
Its jsut going to be so hard, and I can see some tears happening, even though I really dont want to cry.
I hate goodbyes, because I always obsess over that person for ages afterwards. But keeping in contact with her every now and then is also a good idea, I know that she would be the type of person to check up on how Im doing anyway, because at current our relationship has turned less than proffesional. Which is another reason for being passed on.
I'm glad my ideas could be of use, I know it will be upsetting, but it's good to get it out rather than holding it inside, you know?
*big cuddles*
Try to focus on the card, and focus on decorating it, and writing anything you like in it.
I really hope it goes okay, let us know what happens.
We're here for you.
xx
Try and remember also that your social worker obviously cared about you a lot, so she wouldn't just hand you over to someone who isn't very good - she obviously trusts these people to do their jobs well and to care for you and look after you.
Hey hun, i can understand its difficult, when i left my first psychologist (and cpn) i was really sad and thought i would miss her all the time we agreed to write a letter to each other which was nice but i kind of poured my heart out in mine and she kind of said generic things in hers so it made me feel even worse but anyways what im trying to get at is that it gets easier with time, i sometimes think of my psychologist but its not a negative thing anymore i just think of the funny things that happened and also because ive gone through quite a few cpns since leaving her its been a lot easier to deal with as you kind of learn to not get too attached to perfessionals.
i recon doing a card is a reallly good idea just try not to regret anything so if you have an idea of how you want to say goodbye dont let your anxieties get in the way because it will ruin the memory for you (like i wanted to give her a hug goodbye but i didnt and i always think i should have) so just do what makes you comfortable
Sweetie, I can totally relate to this one. I was absolutely devastated when my Psychologist left me.. It really tore me up because I was totally attached to her too.
Try to remember that this could be a way forward + a new beginning.
I agree with Sarah. Write her a card or a letter. I did this and I felt a hell of a lot better telling her how I felt about her / our sessions because I couldn't ever tell her during them. It's also rather therapeutic writing them too.
It will be hard but hang in there. Everything happens for a reason.
I had my social worker since I was 5 years old until now 18, and had to be transfered because I am now an adult. the worst part is I see her still because my other social worker is in the same buliding. I try to think of it postivly, the pain hurts alot of letting someone go I know that because I feel it all the time with her, but the pain of not being well is also hurting. Maybe if you think of it as in when you get someone new maybe it could change your life postivly forever !!!
