Many of us, unfortunately, go through traumatic events, which can often lead to PTSD or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. There are a few symptoms of this disorder, but i have one in particular i wish to say something about.
Flashbacks.
Theyre nasty. Theyre cruel. They are traumatic.
And they will happen. Sometimes unbidded, sometimes in your sleep, but often, because you have heard or seen or felt or smelt something to trigger them.
I was getting them bad. So bad. And they were taking over my life. I couldnt sleep without sleeping pills because of the dreams. The dark prduced these terrible images. Songs choked me up, at one stage, plastic bags sent me into hyperventilation (dont ask)
It was my minds way of telling me i had to accept it.
I, in the safe vicinity of my counsellor, had to relive the event. From start to finish.
****, it was so hard. So very very hard.
But afterwards, they were, not gone, but so much less. They didnt control me anymore. I wasnt a mess, i could, deal with them.
Soon after, i could stop taking sleeping pills. I could look at balloons and plastic bags again.
Yeah, there are still some things that will set me off, but i can control them now.
My life was turned around.
So, what i am trying to say is, dont try to block it all. You cant Pretend! You cant live in denial. You have to integrate it into your life. Confront what happened, and accept.
Or it will always rule you.
Very true, darling. I'm interested to hear that reliving the moment with your counsellor helped so much - I started with a new psych very recently and while trying to tell him about the rape (the thing I flashback to most often) I got to a certain point and just had to stop. I've been wondering if going past that point, into the gory details, would make me better or worse.
it made me better. seriously.
i had to push myself to do it. the only thing that made me was knowing it was traumatising me all the time, and being told it would help. i was desperate enough to do anything. it worked. yay.
thats so true. yet so hard to do.
i have started talking. but getting flashbacks real bad. its hurts physically.
im trying to talk.
i hope your right.
i hope it turns things around.
we are broken - we are confused - we are scared..
together we survive - together we make it through.. aNnA~eLiZaBeTh
GeMiNi~BaBy
thank you Erin.
the thing is....i am constantly invaded with flashbacks, nightmares, and dissociations. BUT my psych doesnt believe in going back to relive it. i dont know why. we barely even discuss it. i would be terrified of doing it but if it would help im willing. maybe i should suggest it to him?
thanks again
xx
I was terrified, but at the time, I was willing to do anything to help.
Integrating event's that you can't change into your mind is acceptance, and then, they will stop struggling with your denial for acceptance
Um, that makes sense in my mind.
Flashbacks are nasty little things. thankyou for sharing this. I only just recently got the help of facing my PTSD cause. I am much better, in ways of what you said. They dont completely go away, but you learn how to handle them better.
That's really good advice Erin, thank you. I hope you're alright *squish* and that other people who suffer the same can take heed of your words, and maybe it will help them too.
I find incredibly difficult to mention the traumatic events I have been through. One wasn't mentioned for about 13 years, and my parents didn't even know. I barely even knew it was affecting me so badly.. but when I finally told a counsellor about it, it was scary, but she listened, and treated it seriously... and the fact is they can give you the response you need, too. You need support, advice, just an ear, they can do that - without judging.
And I find the more I talk - or write- about the grief I've had and the issues I've faced, it "releases" you from them, and it lets you get them out of you just that little bit, enough for you to move on, beginning with baby steps, but moving on none the less.
Thankyou for sharing that hun, it's the right message to give definitely. But it's always easier said than done eh. I'm really glad it helped you though, take care xx
"Be nice. Think happy thoughts. Champion silver linings. Love all things (not just cute things like babies and kittens) & when you do love - love like they do in power ballads (you know like on a cliff with the wind in your hair and your eyes shut, knowing you'll never know love like this). Watch out for dog poo. Smile at people - even grumpy ones. Remember anything is possible & whatever you do always try to look on the bright side."
