Adult - ARG!!!!!

blujan2002 · 27-08-2007, 04:54 AM

Okay, so I was doing so well. I didn't cut for almost two weeks, and now I ended up slipping up and cutting really bad! I am so ****ing ashamed of myself, I gotta make sure that there is no way in hell for anyone that is close to me to see this, because I would never hear the end of this.

I was forced into quitting and I am going crazy right now! These people just don't get how hard it is not to do it! I was also told by a very close friend that if I cut again, she would go and never speak to me again. What the ****? Does she not "really" care? So now I am supposed to just totally jump from cutting almost on a daily basis, to not ever cutting again? That is so much harder than people realize!

Not just this, but my boss that saw some of my old cuts and scars...She actually gave me a week off "In order to get your mind straight"! OMFG what the hell is wrong with these people?

I just need the razor so bad right now...But in a huge way I don't want it!

ADVISE????

TouchVanDerBoom · 27-08-2007, 08:39 PM

It's none of anyone's business! If you quit it should be for you. And that girl that said she'd stop being your friend, that's not a friend. Unless she just said it out of desperation? Maybe she thought it'd scare you into stopping, like it has. Your boss might have meant well but I think it was unfair to point out something private like that. And what's "get your mind straight" mean? Sounds to me like a lot of people in your life seem to think they know what's best for you. But what do YOU think?

SallyMay · 04-09-2007, 07:41 PM

your work has no buissness to make a big deal about them... as long as your not a threat to anyone there... or so i think

I hope you the best and if anyone sees just tell them sorry but i slipped up it is the same as smoking its an addiction... just try to explain it and if they still dont undersand then you just have to do what is best for you not what is best for anyone else

Merc · 04-09-2007, 09:11 PM

It VERY much sounds like all these ppl involved have NO clue about SI.
Perhaps giving your friend too much leeway here...but maybe it was meant as a 'scare tactic'...she doesnt understand it (or so it sounds) so doesnt know what else to do, how to REALLY help. I think you should maybe print off some info on SI and sit down with her with it...she doesn't understand it..so could you help her to? That way she in turn can better support you.
As for your boss,, he quite likely doesnt have much knowledge of it and seems to think it was a bad 'spell' that you needed a 'rest'/time off and would magically be better...stupid, but i think it was meant to help.
You always have to keep in mind, that ppl who dont SI are frightened of it; they can NOT grasp how we can deliberately harm ourselves, they just have never been there so can not ufully understand.
BUT...i dont mean this to sound like i'm sending you on a crusade to educate the masses ;o)!
Do you have a doc/psych/therapist? If not...now would really be a great time to find one. You need and deserve support through this.
I hope you are doing ok?
Let us know how you have been ok?
PM if you like ok?
romp

Mimsy · 04-09-2007, 11:15 PM

My friends tried to do the same, but it was only because they cared immensely for me and wanted- more than anything- for me to stop. But once I had explained and gone through stuff and how I was really feeling, why i did it and everything they have been amazing. They are the best support ever and I quit a lot more easily because I was completely free to talk to them.
I cant really give any advice on the work though.
Hope youre ok, if you need anything- PM me.

Take care, Miriam xxx