Triggering (Abuse) - FInaly Had enough

blujan2002 · 27-08-2007, 01:31 AM

This is super sad... I am 24 and have been taking sh*t from my older sibling since I was young. I finally had enough though. After so many years of being pushed around, slapped, called a f*g, harassed about my job; I just couldn't take it any more. I started to take lessons from a friend of mine who has been an Escrima master for about twenty years.

We (a new GF and I) were at my mother's house last night when my brother came around and started his usual demeaning talk towards me about how I look so heavy lately, and what I am doing with my life. He even started in on my new GF. I kind of lost it and asked him politely to stop. He asked me if I was going to make him stop, and I told him that he knew that I don't like violence. He then proceeded to start to push and slap me. I don't know why, but suddenly I decided that enough was enough. I some how remembered my Escrima training...To make a long story short... I ended up hurting him pretty bad. I feel horrible about it now. I feel as though I should of just let it happen.

Now the whole family is treating me like I am some kind of psycho. they have actually told me that I should of been able to take the harassment because I was the youngest and it all goes with the territory.

I guess the whole point of this post, is to ask if I was wrong to strike back in order to stop the agression. Please if you have any advise I would highly apreciate it...

Good_Enough · 27-08-2007, 07:57 AM

I don't have any really good advice for you, but it seems hypocritical that they allowed him to bully you for so long and never said anything about it, but once you try and stop it you're suddenly viewed as the bad one. I don't think that anyone should have to go through that harrassment. It was wrong of your family to think that it was okay because you're the youngest, and it just shows there is some horrible logic going around in your family. I'm sorry things had to get violent in order for you to stand up for yourself, but if this stops it completely then that is a good thing.

SallyMay · 27-08-2007, 10:50 PM

you asked him to stop and he didnt... he then started to push you and what not so it is his own fault... you need to stand up for yourself if youwant it to stop!

GOOD FOR YOU!

ghosts in the machine · 27-08-2007, 11:31 PM

Well done for standing up for yourself. xx

blujan2002 · 28-08-2007, 04:18 AM

I just feel so horrid for ever doing this. I have now lost all contact with my family.

Amaryllis · 29-08-2007, 12:50 PM

You stood up for yourself, good for you. Unfortunately, sometimes families as a whole make dumb decisions. Perhaps you could invite your mom over for dinner with your GF or something and talk a little bit about it.

*hugs*

Chrissyann · 04-09-2007, 07:14 PM

I think you did exactly the right thing. Many people would like to hit back at someone who's hurting them, but to actually manage it took a great deal of courage. So good for you :) I'm sorry your family don't seem to understand the situation, but there's no way that you should have let him carry on doing what he was doing. It sounds like if you didn't retaliate, it would have been you who was hurt badly, so defending yourself was the right decision. Just because you're the youngest sibling doesn't mean that you should have to put up with being treated the way you do. You're equal to them, and deserve to be treated equally.

Have you managed to get intouch with your family yet? I hope everything's ok.

Take care
*hugs*
Chrissy
xxx