Hello, i never come on and i'm sorry for that. Things are so hectic i just don't get a chance to come on anymore.
I'm just kinda posting to say it!, to another human being because everything is building up and feel like i'm going to burst!..
Things should be good!, i've been with my partner for well over a year, i have a new-ish job. and my mental health was under control (DID/PTSD etc).
So why am i wreck?! i'm really struggling to cope my mum walked out a few weeks ago, basically she'd been cheating (which she's done 3times before, just up's and go's.. without even a note), the first time she did it was when all the SA sh*t happened. So her walking out just bought all this cr*p back to me, she couldn't give a damn about us as her children (i know we're adults 19-21) but she moved us half way across the country, away from all her friends and family (school etc) 5years ago to move in with yet another new bloke who she then married 2years ago.. and now she's left again!, we have no family here and i feel so lost! why can't she just learn from what she's done!, i've never blamed her for what her "partners" did to me.. but i thought she might.. realize and not leave again for another random man of the internet!, it's like as soon as things are going well she just has to ruin them!..I want to hate her so bad.. but i just can't i just keep worrying about where she is and if she's ok!!! .WHY..i want to disown her but i just can't
My dissociation is getting really bad, nearly lost it at work the other day!,(can't happen i work with kids!!). Told my CPN but not really got anything to say it's just a rough patch!, the last three rough patches i lost everything, job, friendships, boyfriends, family etc..and ended up in hospital!
I've tried so hard to let go of the past and move on!.. And i'm struggling so much i'm scared i'm going to throw it all away!. Don't know what to do 
Thankyou if you read my rant and have any advice. xxx
