Triggering (SI/ED) - And she's gone away again...

[Kallisti]

My girlfriend of 1 1/2 years lives 12 hours away from me.
I was just at her house for a week, a week I could say was the best of my life.

But now I'm back home and everything's just crap without her.
My eating patterns are totally out of whack again...

My family keeps on treating me like nothing's different, too. I'm sad, I'm hurt. I probably won't see her again until at least December, and when that time rolls around, we'll be under my parents' heavy supervision, because they mistrust us foolish teenagers.

I keep thinking, "how can I be with her, how can I find a place to live with her?"
She lives in crap rural surroundings...if we were to live there, there would not be much prospect of a future, or at least, not for a while. We'd be working **** jobs trying to survive.

I live near the city, where we're both afraid of (her much more than I, but -- this is really the first time I've admitted it -- I'm scared of being in the city). I'll be going to the University this spring.

Our plan as it stands is to wait until the end of spring semester and the end of her Senior year of HS, and then we're both moving down to the city. We'd be severing connections from both of our families almost completely. My family would shun me, hers would just be really far away and some of them wouldn't care.

But, that's a whole 9 months or maybe more *my heart sinks*
Oh, god, how is this going to work?
I'm so scared. I have no money.
How am I going to afford college on my own? And work with her and live in an apartment? Without any family assistance?
I just want to go and buy another bus ticket and go back there with all that I own. And live with her there. And not care about the future, for at least the present is bearable.

We speak on the phone and can't see each other's face. She cries and I can't put my hand around her back to comfort her. I cry and she can't wipe away my tears.

It's so F King hard!
We are mutually the only ones that understand each other, and the only ones that we are open to each other with.
Two people in a huge unfriendly world, seperated by 700 miles (over 1000 km or something) and 9 months.

This is horrible.
I'm sticking it out with her.
We are forever.
But the forever bit seems to be coming BEFORE we're actually living together, actually (essentially) eloping.

Why am I having another bowl of chocolate cereal?
I want to cry...

[Sorrowfree]

I think the urge to eat is natural. You are upset and you are looking for a source of comfort. I'm sorry I don't have better advice, but keep strong. It can be surprising the way things turn out sometimes. If your relationship is this strong and committed, it can survive even major upheavals such as this.

[[Purple_Rain]]

hun, please try and think about what you do before you do it
maybe right down the positives and negitives of it?
hun, if you really love each other, which i belive you do, then, even though its hard, the distance betweem you shouldnt matter. will you be happy a few years down the line, when you have both dropped out of college because you cant afford it, and are ina crappy dead end job blameing the other one? i doubt it.
but, if you are determind to do this, maybe both of you get a job now, and save up as much as you can.

its natural to want to eat comferting foods at the moment hun, but please be careful becasue they may make you feel guilty afterwards. maybe distract yourself by planning how you will raise the money, or what you are goign to do next.

also is there some kind of service you can ring? im in britain so i wouldnt know, btu they might be ableto give you better advice than i can.

take care
and PM me if you want to talk.

liz