Contains Suicide - lost a friend to suicide....

pea soup · 29-10-2010, 08:03 PM

i found out about a week ago but have been too triggered to come here so i just hang around FB.

she was a great friend of mine in AA. we both had the same sponsor. i got back in touch in with my sponsor a couple weeks ago through FB and she told me.

since moving here with Kelly i have lost touch all my old friends so i dont know what's going on. but this has really affected me. she was a precious girl.

she married a fellow AA'er and they had a baby. a few years later they divorced. they were going through a nasty custody battle of their little boy. i guess she couldnt take it anymore. i dont think i can say how she did it but she made sure it would work if that tells you anything.

i will miss her terribly. we were close. i was at her baby shower and there when her baby was born. it still seems unreal. she wasnt a harmer but she did go through depression.

i havent talked to Keith lately. i have another cast on my ankle for another 6 weeks. i rebreoke the tibia half way and the fibia in a spiral fracture. i had the walking boot on but it wasnt enough. i should have stayed in the cast longer.

Kelly is injured. the glass on the oven fell on her big toe. we went to the ER and they drilled 5 holes in her nail to relieve pressure and today she saw her regular doc and he drilled 2 more holes. she will lose the nail and is hobbling around. we have to take Kaleb trick-or-treating somehow. it will be hard.

im really sad.

~Grace~ · 29-10-2010, 08:13 PM

sorry rachel, im of few words right now but i am so sorry about your friend, you must be devestated....love you xxxx

Mandimoo · 29-10-2010, 08:38 PM

what you need right, is a super size wheelbarrow, you and kelly hop in and caleb can wheel you around! is there anyone from his school that can take him or could his sister take him instead?

so sorry to hear about it all hun, the family sounds like they'd had a lot to deal with and it probably left big wounds that refused to heal. hope oyu feel better soon hun and i hope your ankle heals quickly. mand x

Margo · 30-10-2010, 11:46 PM

It must be hard.

I hope she is at peace.

Take care. xxx

pea soup · 31-10-2010, 03:28 AM

thank you.

im feeling really bad right now. Kelly is in bed and i cant wake her because she hasnt slept in a while.

im going to continue to distract myself to help deal with the negative, horrendous thoughts i have in my head. plus, nightmares have been bad lately. i guess thats expected.

i feel lonely even though i have my mom and sister back in full support of me and Kelly also. im really tired but cant sleep. stupid pills dont work anyhow.

ive taken a pain pill for my ankle. they used to knock me out but now they make it harder to sleep. weird.

i wish i could find a decent movie to watch.....meh.