I just want to fuckin die. It doesn't help anything anymore! Why can't my life just be done???? I lie and I get in trouble so I tell the truth and I'm hated! Why can't I just kill myself! I want to bad enough!!! Everythings going fuckin wrong! I can't talk to my basic sister, my best friend told me I should kill myself, the guy I love hates me, who the fuck actually does care???? Why can't someone acrtually try to understand me for who I am?!?!?!? People wonder why I don't fuckin trust! Everytime I trust someone what do they do?They hurt me so I'm just done, I'm not trusting anyone anymore!!!!!! Just shoot me and end it please!!!!
How does it feel, knowing your barely alive
See through bloodshot eyes, your left empty inside
There I was, strung out and drug through the mud
I must agree, you're just like me.
And when you die,I won't be at your wake
No eulogy from me,Just a smile on my face
And while God might be busy,With judging your soul
I will have slept with the girl,that you loved most!
~FALLING in REVERSE
If the ppl in your life really dont care then that should be their problem, not yours. Not that you dont have the right to feel this way, because you do, but there's always a reason to continue, and there's always the ability for things to get better. It's hard for ppl to understand ppl or situations different to theirs, so they usually dismiss it or dont think it's a big deal or whatever. People who are worth your trust wont purposely hurt you, and the ones who are worth your trust...might hurt you once, but not on purpose, and they'll understand and try to make it right again. And that kind of hurt is usually worth it because they dont mean to hurt you. Anyways...you'll meet ppl who are worth that trust and closeness, if you let yourself. Just try not to give up. But I'm sorry my advice sucks anyways, but if you wanna tlk I'll listen at the very least.
Its hard, I dont want it to be like this. I've worked and struggled to stay out of this point again. It hurt me knowing I had to return here, because this site has great support, and always reminds me I'm not alone in the problems I have. It hurt me knowing my dad can't know about this when I'm close to him. He can't know because then their goes his "perfect daughter" to insanity. He can't know the reasons why I'm picked on or failing american lit. He can't know anything about the real me and it kills me each day that I have to lie to him. It kills me inside alot when I see people I care about just blow me off and break their trust with me. I hate when people find out the truth about my past and assume me to be a freak. I hate having my teachers constantly ask me if I'm ok and me having to lie saying I am when I'm not. Nothing ever goes right, even though I try my hardest to keep everything from not crashing in around me.
How does it feel, knowing your barely alive
See through bloodshot eyes, your left empty inside
There I was, strung out and drug through the mud
I must agree, you're just like me.
And when you die,I won't be at your wake
No eulogy from me,Just a smile on my face
And while God might be busy,With judging your soul
I will have slept with the girl,that you loved most!
~FALLING in REVERSE
If you're close to your father, dont you think he'd understand and support you and stuff, if he knew? You dont have to be perfect, noone is perfect, and I'm sure if the ppl close to you knew the real you, it might be hard for them to understand at first, but they'll be there for you. There are ppl out there (and here, I'd assume) who will be able to help you and will support you and everything, so you can do it. You're trying your hardest, but there are a lotta different paths to get to that place that you wanna be in, so maybe you gotta find a different way to go about it that'll work for you.
