I went to a uni open day today. It was fantastic and I am sure I want to go there next september. It's just, I can't imagine it ever happening. I got anxious getting there and it was only an hour away. The thought of living away from home makes me panic. Most of my anxiety revolves around getting physically unwell and being sick. If I get ill at uni, I will really panic if I am away from what feels "safe" to me, which is at home with my family.
But then again, I am currently back at college and a year ago I would have said that it would be impossible.
I feel tense all of the time, especially my stomach muscles which contribute to stomach pain and in turn makes me anxious and not want to leave the house.
I have a psychologist but she's away for three weeks, and I need to learn how to live with anxiety, how to put things in perspective and how on earth I am going to manage at uni next year.
Dont really know what to do.
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
If it's something you really want to do then I'm sure it's possible to figure out a way for you to cope at uni.
Since you wouldn't start there for a while maybe you could pay quite a few visits and meet people like tutors early on so they are familiar. You could maybe explain to the accommodation people if it's important to you to know early on where you would be living so you can look at it and figure out how to get to places and how you can feel safe there. You could register early with a GP so you have a chance to discuss things in advance and so you know that there is someone you're happy with and someone you can go to with any health problems and the same with a counselling service or something.
The other thing I think you already realise which is therapy/counselling to learn how to manage anxiety. 3 weeks isn't that long when you have until September to address this. I'm sure it will take a long time but you seem fairly determined so a few weeks isn't going to make the difference between you managing/not managing it.
Good luck!
Always seem to get things just that little bit wrong.
"don't wish, don't start, wishing only wounds the heart"
I second what has been said above. I know my uni organises an extra fresher's week a week early for disabled students so they can settle in and get to know their tutors.
How far away from home are you planning on going for uni? Because if it's close enough to go home for a weekend without trouble, then logically it wont be too far away to get home if you become unwell.
The thing is, and please don't take this the wrong way, if you avoid moving away because of this then it will be even harder in the future. I have a friend who got into a really good Russell Group university, but didn't last a week before she dropped out and ended up going to the local one (not v. good one) so she could live at home. The silly thing is that she was only an hours bus ride or a 45 minute car journey away from home in the first place. She's stuck at home now and it's caused all sorts of hassle with her family because really her Mum wants to sell up and move in with her partner, but my friend refuses to budge and refuses to live independantly. Sometimes with these things you have to take the plunge and just do it and stick out that uncomfortableness.
There is an awful lot of support available at university for people with mental health problems. At my worst I was so anxious I couldn't sit through a lecture without a panic attack, but I had a note-taker so I didn't miss things and a mentor who would leave the room with me to help me calm down. I'd contact your universities disability service well in advance so you know what support there is for you beforehand.
I also suggest making yourself aware of societies that are available, which will help in building friendships and keeping yourself busy from anxiety. There's all different variety of societies, so I am sure there will be something for you. Look on their University/SU website to find out about them in advance.
"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes." - W. Gibson.
It's middlesex that I am interested in, it only took an hour by car although it will take longer on the trains to get home. I know it's not very far at all, and you speak sense Heidi. I have to move out some time and live independently, and at least at uni there is heaps of support available.
How did your anxiety get better? How do you learn to cope with it?
lol I think I shall join as many societies as possible.
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
But then again, I am currently back at college and a year ago I would have said that it would be impossible
Look how much you have acheived already!
Sort out counselling and make yourself known to the disability team before you go. Perhaps your Psych could write a letter to them to explain everything?
The support is there is you ask for it. And its best to at least try it and really make an effort to stick it out (unless it really seriously affects your mental health) than stay at home and regret it.
You don't know you can or can't do it, unless you have a go.
It was very gradual, but I guess it was by sticking it out. Gradually I had to leave less and less lectures due to panic attacks. Having a mentor really helped aswell. I still get anxious and I do still struggle with certain things, but I can cope, I guess it's not about suddenly finding things easy, but finding them manageable.
I'm at Middlesex uni now, just started my third year, and the disability service people are really nice. I had problems with anxiety, especially last year, and they were very helpful with liasing with tutors and sorting out extra time in exams, and organising a re-take of one exam without the grade limit in place since I'd failed it due to an anxiety attack the first time. And I know there were other people who had note-takers and others to help them around the uni.
Do you have the number for their disability office? You could maybe call them up and have a chat about things that worry you, see if they can ease your fears at bit.
Middlesex is really fun though, it's a great uni =)
For those doubts that swirl all around us
For those lives that tear at the seams
We know… we’re not what we’ve seen
For this dance we’ll move with each other
There ain’t no other step than one foot
Right in front of the other
Hi there. I can relate to what you're saying. I attempted Uni this year three hours away from home. I've had chronic anxiety since I was very young and it ended up being too much for me. I've since deferred until next year. My plan is to take gradual steps to prepare for Uni, so when I get there next year I won't panic and end up returning home.
Are you currently receiving emotional support? Counselling? The reason I feel I had to drop out was because I felt my anxiety problems would miraculously disappear once I settled into Uni. Not the case. Setting up support early on may help and letting the university know that you can have MH problems. I should have told my Uni this. If they know you have problems they can support you.
Btw, I also have physical health problems brought about by my anxiety. I know how utterly debilitating it can be. I wish I could give more advice but I guess I'm in a similar position to you. I desperately want to get to uni. If you want to PM me feel free
Thanks Carrina. I am currently seeing a psychologist and am under the care of a CMHT. I have already declared a mental health disability on my UCAS application, and once I get a place I shall speak to the disability team at uni and have an assessment.
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
