Triggering (Sexual Abuse) - Counselling for abuse?

not_so_insig · 25-08-2007, 10:53 PM

I am shortly going to be starting counselling for abuse (not next Tuesday, but the Tuesday afterwards). I have met with the person who is doing it 4 times and she seems nice (twice for non related things, I later found out that is what she does).

I was wondering, if anyone else here tried or have had counselling for sexual abuse? How did you find it? I was told by the person who did it, that some of the other women she sees, and not to worry if it takes ages to open up. Also she said that before, she had sat there for half a hour in complete silence. Some days that they don't feel like talking at all. Which is good thing, because I know that given the way I have reacted with counsellors before (I haven't seen any counsellors for that issue, but other issues, such as my mental health), I cant just open up.

I am slightly nervous about the appointment, although it was totally my decision to do it. I suspect I will be worse the day before and just before my appointment though. I have also bought a self help book (I saw it in the library, but I was too scared to borrow it, so I ordered it online), but it hasnt arrived yet.

I feel that at the moment, that this will be one of the toughest things that I will be doing. I am fed up of being screwed up, so if this helps me being less screwed up, that is good. If not, at least I have given it a go, and I can either try with someone else, or later on in my life.

So any comments would be helpful.

I only put the trigger label on just in case.

hahaugotpunked87 · 26-08-2007, 05:58 AM

oh sweetie i havent been to counseling, not an official counseling at least, im supposed to go to, im a little scared myself, i did go to a mini-session, and if you cant talk about it at first, try writing it down, i wrote a whole letter to my counselor about it, but she didnt sit there and watch me read it, i kind of wrote it afterwards and then gave it to her because i wasnt able to talk about it, i still cant say what happened outloud, writing it is much easier
i hope that helped you at least a little
*hugs*

Amaryllis · 26-08-2007, 08:18 AM

Counseling for this is okay some days, not okay some days. It depends on you and the lady you see. It can help if you bring something to keep your hands busy. There will be questions that you might not feel comfortable answering, especially at first. If something is NOT helping, tell her. If you're too scared to look at her face, play a game there. It's different for different people.

Chrissyann · 26-08-2007, 11:26 AM

I've never had counselling for this, so I'm not sure how it would go. But I guess it's just a case of taking your time and working through it at your own pace. I don't expect it will be easy, but it'll be worthwhile. You've made a great decision hun :)

I hope it goes well for you.
Take care
Chrissy
xxx

shadow-seeker · 26-08-2007, 02:28 PM

yeah i have counseling for sexul abuse. yeah its good but you have your off days. and if you feel uncomfortable with the person your seeing you can change at any time. im not gunna say that its easy because its not but you'll get there. yeah there eill be questions that you dont feel comfortable answering just say dont ever feel pressured or like you have to say something because you dont.

anyways if you ever want to chat about anything don't hesitate to pm me

hope it goes well

*hugs*

xxxx

crazykat · 26-08-2007, 03:13 PM

I went to counselling for sexual abuse for awhile and it really helped. As Amaryllis said you will have both bad and good days with it, just like with any other counselling. Just take ur time with it and go at your own pace, only you will know what you are able to deal with. If your councellor asks you something and you don't feel like talking about it, its ok to tell
them that you don't wanna talk about that. Also for me i found the counselling really helped me but then after a while it got to a point where i wasn't ready to deal with anymore talking about it. So for now i have decided to take a break from it and may go back when i feel more able to. So its really important you let them know if somethings too much for you and that you want to take it slower or even have a break. Also I found that some days i was able to talk about things and then i had other sessions where we would just sit there in silence so thats ok too. Best of luck with it all tho. Take care of yourself.
kat xxx

bloodletting · 27-08-2007, 02:23 PM

i've had a few sessions so far with my counsellor, and i guess i was lucky to find someone that i clicked with straight away. it's good that you already know the woman who you will be talking to, so hopefully you're already comfortable with her.
and as you said you probably will be scared right before, but be prepared to feel pretty crappy afterwards as well, they say it can sometimes get worse before it gets better. but that's just because you are facing something very traumatic.
and as someone else said bring something with you that you can play with, for me i just take a water bottle, and the label is usually torn and dead by the end of the session.
well done for taking this step sweetie, it's a brave thing to do.
take care xoxoxox

not_so_insig · 07-09-2007, 08:10 PM

I had the appointment. I was so nervous beforehand, I nearly cancelled the appointment.

She went through a basic run through of what she does, we talked for an hour. We didnt discuss the abuse, just other stuff, including my mental health issues and mainly about my aspergers (it's a form of autism). In relation to the aspergers, how it could affect me as she didnt know much about it. (Well that is the impression I got) Oh and I told her about the fact that I SI.

It went better than than what I thought, but it's still early days. She also told my support worker that she was impressed with how intelligent I was, and how I have come along since I saw her before about non related stuff (I dont know about that, but my support worker keeps on telling me how I have improved so much. I dont know about that)

We made another appointment, I am glad that I am doing it, but it still early days. I dont want to be screwed up.

Last night I did something which was really helpful, I wrote down about my abuse. 7 and 1/4 pages of A4 I wrote, and it took about 2 1/2 hours. One day I hope to show it to her, but in the meantime it helped me because I let it all out.

bloodletting · 09-09-2007, 06:30 AM

*hugs* you should be really proud of yourself sweetie, you took the first steps in healing and helping yourself. it's a long road and keep it mind that sometimes it can get harder before it gets better. you will be bringing up a lot of old memories and it will be painful. just go slow and don't push yourself.
it was a good idea to write down about the abuse, you're right it's a good way to get it out and yes maybe one day you can show it to your counsellor.
take care sweetie xoxoxoxox