relapsing

[xBrokenxPantsx]

i dont know why but i have relapsed really bad after like 18 months of not cutting or anything, i dont know why i have the only thing that has changed is that my brother has come home and thats it, i have started cutting and going suicidal and nearly attempted it the other night, i got an emergency appointment with the psych the other day and she said that she will start me on some group therapy called steps, its about managing self harm and how to recognise triggers and stuff, but idk it kinda feels nice to be cutting again and knowing that if things get bad i will have a release and stuff, but i know it breaks my gf heart everytime i cut coz shes not with me to keep me safe (we live in diff countries), but yeah i kinda like having a release although i know thats its bad...i dunt know if i wanna give up now i have started again...i dont know what to do

polo x

[Gone.]

It sounds as if you are confused as to what you feel right now and torn between wanting to hurt yourself and wanting to fight against it. Like the above poster asked, I am left wondering why it is that your brother seemed such a trigger to cause your self-harming to escalate so much again. Perhaps this is something to think about.

I am glad that you called your psychiatrist and arranged an emergency appointment. If you are feeling so low again, do you think you could repeat that action? It is good that she is taking you seriously and has suggested a group therapy session and I hope this benefits you- though I wonder what your thoughts are concerning it.

Do you think you could talk to your girlfriend about how you are feeling right now? She might be calmer once she knows the reasoning behind your actions that she can begin to try to help you with.

Also, well done on the 18 months. That's awesome :) You've done it once and you can do it again.

Take care.