when to give up?

[the sky belongs to you]

i understand there's no clear answer to this but it's something that's been on my mind a lot lately and another perspective could really help, so if anyone has any input on this please let me know.

i'm going to be 24 next year and i'm becoming very conscious of being too old to keep on doing what i do. i play in a band and we take ourselves pretty seriously, we go on tour a lot and we released an album last year and we make a little money but by no means enough to live off. i also do a fair amount of recording and teaching but as with anything music related the money is inconsistent, some months i struggle to get by and others i make more than my friends in full time 'legitimate' work. but a couple of things have made me doubt my career path lately, the first is seeing bands a lot younger than us who we used to be friends with and play together appear in mainstream press and get radio 1 airplay, and it just makes me think that this is a young persons game and that we're too old to be of any interest. the second is most of the friends i grew up with are in creditable jobs and have strong futures career-wise ahead of them. its such an issue because i truly believe that playing in a band is my calling, ive been playing drums for the best part of 20 years and bands since i was 13, and the band im currently with is the best and happiest ive ever been in and has the most potential to 'go pro'. if its ever going to happen it would happen with this band and i feel time is running out.

ive often thought about quitting it all and going into a completely different line of work, but without sounding like im looking down on anything else it would kill me to something else all day, this is the only thing im any good at. but i have to be realistic and understand that there has to be a time when i forget about my ambitions and just do what i have to to survive. and im fearing its getting closer, im not 16 anymore and the way i live is just not sustainable.

i understand there's a lot of information here so thanks for listening if you got this far. any feedback would be really appreciated.

[Aimless]

First of, about your thought regarding this being a young scene.. I wouldn't say that, though I'm just a listener. ;) But music reaches people on so many levels, I don't think age has much to do with it.

I'm sort of on the other side of it - I'm 24, too, but I'm working a really standard 9-5 job. It's not what I want to do with my life, and at times the thought of doing this for the next 50 years or so is rather daunting. I'm the kind of person who can sort of adapt to that, though, so it's possible... just want to point out that I really understand your feeling that it would kill you, at least in a metaphorical sense. It's not ridiculous, and it's something to keep in mind - be very realistic in your expectations. Experiencing burn out is hardly something to aim for ;)

Have you learned a trade, got qualifications or something like that? That might make it easier to keep your options open, but even if you don't, there are a lot of options for adult education and job training. In this day and age, who stays in their career for all their working life?

I'm rambling, sorry - but you sound like you really enjoy what you do, and my first instinct would be to say you should keep it up if it can sustain you. Also, I don't know much about it all, but there are a lot of aspects to working in the music industry. Even if this doesn't work out, surely you've got quite a few contacts by now? That might help if you ever decide to do something different.

Good luck, however you decide.

[TheShade1989]

Yeah, it's a young ppl's career mainly. Because they follow the certain kind of theme that mainstream bands seem to have. But my favorite bands...the members are still going and they're all in their 30s or so. They aint really "rich" or on popular radios a lot, but they make most of their money frm touring, and they seem to do pretty damn well. It's not for young ppl, it's for talented ppl. Or, it should be. Most music on the radio sucks in my opinion. Young stylish ppl making money easily on how they look as opposed to talent. But either way, there's no age for you to give up. Keep going until you make it where you wanna be, or till you figure it's time to choose a different path.

[Margo]

Diversify and adapt!

You talk about giving up and quitting and forgetting your ambitions. I think thats the fast track to misery. Many people cant follow their dreams to the full extent. I have lots of freinds who were in bands and artists and dancers and gymnasts, professional sport players and all kinds. I think all wear suits now. But they still paint and play!

Life creeps up! Its hard and its saddening. It doesnt mean that all your dreams go out of the window. for 99% of us our dreams are simply just dreams! Very few see them to full fruition.

You may not play in a band but you can still be involved in music. Teach kids how to play? That could be a start. Make a few quid per week for a few hours teaching little Johnny how to play guitar or what ever. Take a course in sound engineering or music production? Help others make music too? Promote bands? Promote a night at a pub or a club?

Slowly change and adapt.

Your life will not end, it will simply change. It could open new doors and new levels of happiness. You never know.

Dont stop dreaming.

[~phoenix~]

When to give up on your dreams? Never. That doesn't mean keep your dreams as they are. If it's the financial aspects that worry you, consider a change of career, but keep in with the music career. Maybe, keep in with the band, but what about management? Scouting? Songwriting?

I gave up on my dreams of becoming a writer when I was 14. They were impractical, apparently. It wasn't until I was 24, and a newly single mum that I thought "if I can get out of one of the shittiest relationships ever, love a child that came out of a situation I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, and give up everything else I cared for, then nothing is truly impossible." So, you see, I trotted off to college, and became a mature student. I got through that course with PTSD, Social Anxiety, and a lot of people suggesting I'm bi-polar. I'm now at uni, studying a degree, whilst juggling looking after a toddler on my own. The only time I'm away from him is while he's at the childminders. So, if a single mum, who, on some days, couldn't leave the house for days on end, can get onto the course of her dreams, at her first choice university, then there's no reason you can't keep in line with your dreams. Sometimes our dreams need to be compromised, albeit slightly, but we can still keep on the same course...

[BunnyMaz]

Don't give up on your dreams, diversify them! You don't have to give up, and definitely don't think that at 24 you're too old to be doing what you love! If your passion isn't paying your living expenses, then supplement it with other work, but keep the band going. I know so many people with full time jobs who've still held onto their passions. The big sis-in-law's hubby is in an awesome death metal band and regularly plays gigs etc, but still finds time for full time work and raising 2 gorgeous kidlets.

Are you distributing your music online for money? That can be a beneficial way of raising money for independent artists.

[the sky belongs to you]

thank you so much for the responses everyone.

im already involved with a lot of the things you've talked about; i have a small recording business which i keep threatening to set up legitimately and expand, i teach drums part time at a local school and myself and the singer from my band put on local shows every month. we've been throwing around the idea of setting up an umbrella business that ties together many different aspects of the music industry as we have the knowledge and contacts to provide virtually everything a band needs. but thats still at a very early stage.

i guess the issue i keep facing is that i treat my band as my main priority over all of this, i will turn down work to go on tour and i will invest more in my band than i will in my business. at the moment i make enough to get by with the odd month where i can spend a bit on myself, but i know i could have a much higher quality of life if i threw myself into my other work instead of seeing it as something to fund the band.

im never going to give up playing it is literally my life, everything i do is with the band in mind, but i know there has to be a time when i have to step back and concentrate on the more financially rewarding aspects of my life. im dreading that day and i feel its going to come around quicker than i'd hoped and im not going to be prepared for it.

thank you again everyone

[Margo]

Drums O_0 TEACH ME TEACH MEEEEE! *ahem* ¬.¬

Keep this thread and refer to it. You have all the pieces you need. Dont let your fear of losing something you dont even have stop you from doing this! Sounds great!