Contains Abuse - What do I do about NO sex

found · 12-10-2010, 06:34 AM

I have been married for 21 years and have had sex 5 or 6 times a week for most of ir...

Like a horney little toad, I like it.

Well, when hubby went on Paxil the drive diminished. he is NOT interested. So in the last 120 days we have had sex once.

No, I can not go looking for it elsewhere, no I can not take care of it myself through masturbation. Those options just are not for me and my religious beliefs. Hubby wants to have an emotional connection, I just wanna get laid. So we are trying the emotional route, I did not think it would take this long.
Frustrated,
Found

Margo · 12-10-2010, 04:44 PM

Try to remember that his lack of drive is as a result of a chemical change brought on by the pills. On certain meds i lost my drive too. something i thought impossible. It changed after a while and a change in meds.

A physical relationship within a partnership is important to many and seen by many as important too. you are within your rights to request a change in meds to help with this.

you dont hae to stay this way!

Garnious · 24-10-2010, 01:19 AM

This has happened to me as well I just wasn't interested. A change of meds fixed it, I'm not on anything anymore so it's not a problem anymore but I agree a med change isn't beyond asking relationships are physical as well and it does make it difficult for the other person.

Habibi · 07-11-2010, 06:35 AM

have him talk to his doc about changing meds..and while waiting, find some other options to satisfy yourself. And I don't mean cheating :)

bitomato · 07-11-2010, 06:54 PM

Hi found,
I am sorry to hear that this is something that is affecting your marriage. I understand that your "options" are limited due to religious reasons but I do think that this is a matter that will not have an easy fix.

Most contributors have suggested getting his medication changed, but I would challenge if the current medication is working with the exception of sexual drive. Immediately to me it sounds like a great opportunity to explore other forms of intimacy with your partner while at the same time address your need for frequent sex vs. his diminished drive with your GP. If it is something that is causing both of you concern by all means changing the meds may be a consideration, but if the meds are working, I do think it is worth exploring other contributions to diminished drive.

I think that your husband needs to feel supported as much as you need to feel you can enjoy some level of intimacy with him. I hope that you are able to explore finding a solution together.