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Andddd back to where I started
You'll have to excuse the fact I am too tired to string a proper sentence together.
I've had enough. I'm struggling so much. I'm torn between destroying myself and holding on. New people into sixth form this year must have such a bad impression of me. I'll be fine then a minute later I'm dazed and confused. When I'm particularly low I can do nothing but stare into space. Feeling bad isn't much of a problem actually, because I'm always reassured by the fact that I can cut myself later on. This is so wrong to be starting again but **** it. It's done now. I don't want to let people down and admit I've ****ed up again.
I know it's serious when I start to feel suicidal. I'm scared of myself. I shouldn't be admitting this + I'll probably edit it out later. For now I'll leave it in..
I just want to hurt and hurt because it's all I seem to do anyway. I can't describe how bad I feel. I never can. I can't find the words. This all looks the same to me. It always does. I wish I could describe it better.
Sorry I don't know what I'm expecting people to say because I already know I shouldn't do it and it isn't worth it. That's not enough to stop me. :/
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