Triggering (SI) - Imagine

[howlie,]

I was thinking earlier and i cam up with this



send your self forward in time, you have a son or daughter


What would be worse?



"I started cutting"
Noticing they have an eating disorder
"im drinking"
or
"im pregnant



I was just wondering

[[Purple_Rain]]

i voted ED.
reasons:
1. it would be my fault (as i would see it) cos EDs can be genetic
2. it has messed up my life more than cutting, and is harder for me to fight, so it probably woudl be for them
3. by the time i noticed it would probably be too late ot prevent serious damage
4. ED thoughts will probably be there for the rest fo your life, SI thoughts might not be.
5. to me being pregnent isnt the end of the world (depending on the circumstances), i would try and help them as much as possible in whatever decsission they took. i dont wan them to be pregnant at under 18, but if it happens its not as bad as SI and ED i think. depends on the situation.
6. lol, most of my mates drank form age 12. i know that doesnt make it right, but i could help them better with drinking then i could with an ED.
7. i probably wont be recovered by the time i have kids, so wont be able to tell them its wrong cos i do it myself. (then we might trigger each other)
8. me noticeing because with the others they told me, they would have felt able to talk to me, the ED they didnt, cos i only 'noticed' it.

[[Purple_Rain]]

then again, if my son told me he was pregnent i would be extremely worried due to his lack of a uterus :P

[DropDead-]

I voted SI.
Only because i've seen my friends struggle through self-harm,and it tears you apart. Watching someone hurt themselves must be horrible.
I mean i know my mum struggles but she doesnt know much,but when she found out,she didnt sleep/eat/work for days.

[Voldemort]

I put pregnancy.

I dunno...I just think that if someone's getting pregnant fairly young (I'm thinking 15ish here btw) there are probably other issues within that. I mean, I know SI and ED's have other issues, but they on their own are one issue. A baby raises loads of issues.

Ok, I'm not making sense. *Stops babbling* Interesting question though. It's something I think about a lot, and really worries me - what if I have kids and they're like me? What if I have kids and they're not like me (hard drugs, really messed up, huge attitude problems etc etc, I'm a bit of a swotty gimp)?

[Illusion]

(This is quite a depressing post if you haven't really thought too much about a parent's side of view, so skip it if you don't want to feel bad!)

Personally I would think it horrible that my son/daughter started to SI. You'd just feel like a failure for not keeping them happy - even though it's not really your fault. And if it was an ongoing issue I'd find it really tough to watch.

ED is pretty much the same issues though, it's an ongoing watch of someone ruining their body over something that you can't control. Which would feel bad to a parent because there's little you can do. You can take a horse to water but you can't force it to drink, as they say.

Next worse for me would be pregnancy, because at a young age it's not fun, and would change their lives forever. At the moment on Neighbours (Yeah I know, I deny watching it myself) there's a girl who's had a teenage pregnancy and they portray it pretty well about how much it's affecting her. Like she failed all her exam results, blames herself, compares herself to her friends who are all out having fun. So yeah, not too good either.

Lastly I think if my son/daughter said they drank, I wouldn't mind too much. I mean, a lot of teens reguarly binge drink and it's quite a big and wide-spread issue. I wouldn't find it too difficult or an unknown subject, unlike the others which are much harder to treat or heal.

[InsufficientFunds]

I said ED.
But all would be pretty bad.

I know that when my mum found out I cut, she just sat there sobbing. It must be heart breaking to know that your child is going through so much emotional pain that they hurt themselves and also I think with my mum she thought it was her fault that I was cutting myself, she thought she did something wrong. She still won't listen when I tell her it has nothing to do with her.

With my ED I think my mum struggled the most, again I think she blamed herself, growing up I always noticed the diets she was on and when she used to call herself fat in front of me (she is in no way fat at all). I think it tore her up the most because she knew there was nothing she could do within herself to stop me. With cutting parents think they can prevent (although usually the cannot) by taking the sharps away, and monitoring the kids (which is obviously wrong). But with an eating disorder you can't taking things away but I mean you can't exactly hold your kid down and shove food down their throat either. Parents are pretty much helpless for that.

[Ashleygray]

If the child is female and not in a relationship or under 18:

Pregnancy would be the worst IMO because my child will be raised Catholic and therefore, she will not believe in abortion.
Don't get me wrong, i have struggled with EDs and SI and i would hate for my child to become involved in those.
But, pregnancy = baby.. Baby = FOREVER!.
There is a chance of recovery from ED's and SI.. But if she has an unwanted child. Not only she will suffer, but the poor little child will too.

After pregnancy in the worst to 'best':

ED&SI - i have struggled with both.. I hate them both.. NEITHER!..

Drinking - i have never experianced.. so i just assume that you can get better??


I don't like this post anymore :(

[Ashleygray]

ohh + I would notice if my child had an ED or was SI'ing .. so i could kind of catch it before it gets really bad?

I dunno why i said that..

[.ghost.]

poisonapple, would you really nitoce? Many people are very good at keeping SI and EDs hidden. You might notice their weight dropping if they were anorexic, but if they were bulimic it would be a lot harder to see (many bulimics are within the normal-overweight range). Not all SI is done on arms either, so if they did it somewhere you couldn't see I don't really see how you could just know. Just my personal opinion...

I think I could deal with it if they SIed, and I'd be understanding with them and because of the way my parents have treated me over it, I'd make sure I never made them feel like that so I'd make sure they knew they could come to me to support if they wanted to and I think I could give better advice on that than EDs.

If they had an ED, then I'd probably only notice after they'd already done enough damage to themselves which would be upsetting. I also don't know what I would say to them about it. I know myself that comments like "but you're not fat" don't help but what else could you say? There probably are helpful things you can say but I'd probably jusy sit there and worry. Also, I think it's easier ot get triggered for EDs than SI, so I'd never be sure what to say around them. Also, with SI, lots of people want to recover, whereas with EDs, recovery can often mean weight gain so people don't want to as much (although they don't want an ED, they don't want to gain weight, not saying people are happy with thier EDs or anything).

I think I could deal with them being pregnant, I'd be concerned about how they'd manage and stuff, and I'd probably encourage an abortion (which I know can be traumatic, but I probably wouldn't even be able to afford to care for it so the baby would have a terrible life) or to give it up for adoption. I think it would be an easier subject to talk about and stuff than SI and EDs.

With drinking, as long as they didn't have a problem with drinking, most teenagers drink with friends sometimes now, it's not really something I'd make a big deal out of.

[Tears and Rain]

I said ED.
That is all.

[surprising mystery]

I cant decide, I think probably pregnancy though because with the others there is one person to look after, when another child is involved thats two people you need to think about. Also pregnancy and children are for life, no ifs or buts. If it is a mistake pregnancy then I think its the worst, but if my kid (theoretically speaking) wanted a child or in some cases, it made them mature in a way that made it a plus then I couldnt get that worried really.

It depends on the kid and the help around them, like said above a catholic child in a catholic family would probably suffer a lot. But someone that has lots of support from family and friends might find having a child not so bad.

Drink and drugs are a big worry, but I see you didnt put drugs.

Argh, I think I would be pretty worried if anything happened to my kid that made them ill or suffer. Sorry didnt vote.

[Ashleygray]

Quote:

Originally Posted by .ghost.

poisonapple, would you really nitoce? Many people are very good at keeping SI and EDs hidden. You might notice their weight dropping if they were anorexic, but if they were bulimic it would be a lot harder to see (many bulimics are within the normal-overweight range). Not all SI is done on arms either, so if they did it somewhere you couldn't see I don't really see how you could just know. Just my personal opinion....

You have a really good point.
I probably wouldn't notice.
I guess if my child takes after me, she will be very good at hiding things and lying.
But IF i do see scratches and she says "the cat did it", i would automaticly thing SI.
Whereas my mum believes me.
Also if i see her binging or skipping meals, i would automaicly thing ED, even if she really does "feel unwell", "ate before".

So i guess it goes both ways.

[Samz]

I'm not sure. I think SI if it was depression related or an ED since both depression and eating disorders run through my family and I would think it was my fault. I wouldn't want to watch my child suffer through what I have and know it could be down to me. I'd hate to know that they wanted to destroy themselves and that I couldn't make it all ok.

[Aphelion]

My immediate reaction was pregnancy as soon as I saw it so I put it down but they all have their own horrendous consequences. Only difference is SI and pregnancy is visible (later stage naturally) and mark you for the rest of your life regardless of whether the child recovers from it or not.
SI and &pregnancy.

[Angel_Girl]

ED. I think it's the hardest to beat.

[surprising mystery]

I have changed my mind. ED. Because it is so ****ing complex.

[Comely]

I said ED. I just know it would hit me hardest.

[lost_star_6]

I said SI because I have watched mine tear my entire family apart.... its a horribly selfish problem.

[Chrissyann]

Well first of all, I'm thinking about my child being about 14/15 when I answer this. I voted pregnancy as being the worst purely because of her age. She would be too young to understand the consequences and short of having an abortion, it would be irreversible. At 14, you're too emotionally unstable (in my opinion) to have a child as you're still one yourself.

I'd then put SI and ED together next. Because they are both signs of a deep emotional problem. And obivously, you don't want your child being unhappy. They are both extremely hard to battle, and both something which you'll struggle with for the rest of your life. And will have been going on for a long time before I'd know.

I'd say that drinking would bother me the least purely because I've never really had an issue with it. But alcohol dependancy is far less taboo than SI and ED's, so recovery can be made easier by more help being readily available.