I'm not coping very well lately... My cutting is so bad that I've already gotten stitches twice in one week. I don't what to do. My roommate is threatening to get a room change cuz she use to si as well and all I'm doing is triggering her... I can't stop. I've tried but I need it. I want to stop but can't for some reason ..... Please help... I'm trying to rubberband thing but tonight it didn't work... I am seeing my therapist tomorrow and apparently she's going to tell me I have 2 weeks to get it straightened out and get better or else my parents can come take me home from college... I'm scared..
The following content has been hidden - Reason : Triggering
I don't mean to go deep I just do....
I can't help myself anymore... My roommate slept in another room the other night because she didn't feel safe in our room.... She has started to bite and scratch herself... Please help...
Big Sister:Squiggles Little Sister: PaintItBlack Cousins: dereksarah, Hollz
I'm going to try and talk to my RA from now on but I'm not sure if it'll help... My therapist wants me to get a therapist closer to school and see her 2 times a week
Big Sister:Squiggles Little Sister: PaintItBlack Cousins: dereksarah, Hollz
I'm sorry you're going through a rough patch... I suggest trying to distract yourself - find things to do to stop you from cutting. Make a list of a hundred things to do before you cut. Go through the entire list and try everything first. If you can put it off for a little bit, the urge might dissipate some.
I suggest you keep talking to a therapist - her advice of twice a week is probably a really good one. The more often you see her, the more it can help. I know sometimes a week feels like an eternity to wait to talk to someone - so twice a week is a good option.
Why do you think she is going to tell you that you have 2 weeks to have it straightened out or your parents will have to come take you home from college? That seems a little extreme imo... especially considering if you're at college I assume you're of legal adult age? I know when I've had extremely depressive weeks at college, my therapist has never suggested calling my parents - she has suggested i be hospitalized...but that's it. I don't think she can tell your parents if you're of legal age? I guess it depends on where you're from though.
Anyhow... Keep talking to your therapist. You can make it through this. Try to fight the urges - try to find other things to do instead.
Work through the issues that are triggering you - try to figure out what exactly it is that is triggering you - and work though that with your therapist.
Thank you. I had to tell my mom who told my dad because she is paying for the er and drs visit. I am currently looking for a therapist closer to school so I can go to her twice a week. I am nervous about that.... My dad actually suggested I make a list today.. I will do that tomorrow. It's such a good idea thank you.
I am of legal age so now my therapist can't tell my parents and I trust her not to. I just feel I should communicate with my parents sometime when things are bad but not other times..... As for the bringing me home thing my therapist ended up not talking about that I am thinking it's something my mom just said....
My therapist wants me to take a leave from school to be hospitalized but I can't. It'll just be too much stress but I may do it over the summer again though I am scared.
Thank you Lizliz for the suggestions and thank you no point for responding....
Big Sister:Squiggles Little Sister: PaintItBlack Cousins: dereksarah, Hollz
Being hospitalized can be scary..but I've been there... It's worth it, if it keeps you safe. It'll help you work through things. So though it might not seem like the best option because you have school.. it might help. Even if it's just for a week or two. It might help to keep you safe.
Yeah - communicating with your parents is probably a wise idea. I guess my concern from that really stems from the fact that I can't communicate with my parents about this stuff - so i sort of projected that, sorry about that. I'm glad you can talk to them about the self harm. That's good that you have that support.
Good luck finding a therapist closer to school - they might have some at school you can see - i know my school does, which is nice, because it's right on campus. It's also free to students which is good too. Might be something to look into
Yea my mom keeps bringing up the fact that it could screw up my career...
I think it's more common to not communicate with your parents so don't worry about it... I talk to them most of the time now but still hide a good chunk of it from them.
Thank you. My school has 2 but the first didn't work out and the 2nd keeps bringing up the fact that i was doing so well and now I'm not... she also asked if I like the medical attention I get from getting injured ( i get hurt a lot :(....) which I don't.. she also forced me to talk about something I wasn't ready to talk about.. She's just been doing stuff I don't like so I think it's time to find someone else
Big Sister:Squiggles Little Sister: PaintItBlack Cousins: dereksarah, Hollz
Worrying about leaving school or work or whatever is natural and normal. however, sadly many of us leave it until its too late.
The fact is that you are not coping and you need some help. Takin the break you need doesnt mean you will fail. Infact it means you will succeed. You will succeed in taking control of this, rather than allowing it to take control of you because of your fears!
6 months out now could prevent a year out in the future.
A year out now could prevent two years out in the future.
You are young and time is more than on your side.
Take every hand you can, take everything they offer. Deal with this now!
Matthew x
~Phoenix~ is my Little Sister of Awesomeness and Self-Delusion :P Bitter Angel is my Mitten Animad is my Top Trump All Im Living For - Is my beautiful and special daughter who isnt called Kim but will moan if i dont add her :P
It might be better in the long run to get a room change, it can be very hard and tireing living with someone who self harms/has a mentall illness and it might work out better not to live toghether especailly if it is triggering her and of course thats going to make you feel worser
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
I just found out that as a trial bases she is living with some friends... I'm very upset by this at the moment. I want to be roommates with her but she isn't making things easy for me right now...Blaming me and everything.....I don't think I can leave school... It'll be too much stress for me. I know what you're saying but I think I'd get more out of it if I did the hospitalization (if my parents let me) in the summer
Big Sister:Squiggles Little Sister: PaintItBlack Cousins: dereksarah, Hollz
Do you honestly think you will make to the summer tho???
I'm sorry about your roommate leaving, but I'm sure you can understand why, as hard as it is.
You both need to take care of yourselves, in what ever way is best.
Also, as you are age of majority, an admission doesn't need be on your parents say-so/permission...that part worries me a bit...you need to do what is best for you.
Hope you can find someone to speak to soon. Is it possible to tell the 2nd person that you feel she is pushing you, etc? To try to work with her? I understand some ppl just dont 'click' tho...
Take time out, really, it's not that bad. I did it, I was so scared at the time especially about my parents' reaction, but they could see how ill i was (and they don't even know anything about it lol). I am doing much better now because of it.
It's not worth staying somewhere where you are really not coping, plus making it worse for others like your roommate, when taking a break is possible.
I hope you can access a good therapist who helps you. Stopping is really hard but so worth it. The rubber band thing, holding ice, drawing on yourself with a red marker, might help.
Even as the stone of the fruit must break
that its heart may stand in the sun,
so must you know pain.
There are only two ways in which one can live their life. One is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is.
I don't know about summer but I'm hoping I can... If I need stitches again then I will leave school (I'll be forced but hey).... I do understand why she left but that doesn't make it any easier.. I feel betrayed and a whole bunch of other feelings... She made her status on fb this whole long thing on how I should forgive her, I wasn't blind sided I should talk to her... First off she was supposed to talk to me before she moved! second I was blind sided. She said she would give me a chance when I came back for the weekend, she didn't... I feel so hurt and lost right now
Big Sister:Squiggles Little Sister: PaintItBlack Cousins: dereksarah, Hollz
..... Please help... I'm trying to rubberband thing but tonight it didn't work... I am seeing my therapist tomorrow and apparently she's going to tell me I have 2 weeks to get it straightened out and get better or else my parents can come take me home from college... I'm scared.. 
