Is this a flashback?

[Anji]

I sometimes feel like I'm trapped in a memory, but not an actual flashback, if that makes sense.

Like, I feel exactly like I did around the time everything was bad, but I don't have constant flashes of abuse itself, I just feel like I'm trapped back in that time.

I don't know how to describe it. I feel like I'm living in a memory and I'm not quite in this reality. It makes me withdrawn, and frustrated, because at least back then I had good reason to feel the way I did.

It's over now, why is my mind still taking me back there?

[Stellata]

Look up 'emotional flashback' and 'dissociative flashback'.

I can relate. A lot.

Such things replay because they're traumatic, and cause shock in the body and mind. It's also so that the pain/memories can have a chance to be looked at and integrated safely.

[Fraction]

My understanding of flashbacks is that when it actually happened it was too traumatic to really be present in the moment and process it as you would with a normal memory. When you feel a bit safer the flashbacks start to kind of bring it to your attention that it's not something that has been really dealt with yet. Sometimes I think of it like the memory is knocking on the door reminding me that it's still there and unprocessed... I've explained that really badly, sorry!

Flashbacks happen in all kinds of different ways. Sometimes it's a full on vivid thing and it's like it's really happening again. Sometimes it's just a sensation, or the sounds, or the emotions.

For me sometimes I get these "full" flashbacks, and a lot of the time I'm reliving some aspect of the event.

There are ways to cope with flashbacks like grounding techniques and reminding yourself that you are safe now. In the long run it sounds like you could maybe do with examining it all a little closer - the only way to really get rid of the flashbacks is to confront them and process them so that they can be stored as a normal memory. Are you having any therapy or counselling at the moment?

Flashbacks are very distressing and they make it very hard to engage with the present and to focus on what's going on around you. Remember it is over now, and you are safe :-]

Here for you any time you would like to talk xx

[Anji]

Thanks to both of you, what you say makes sense.

How do you confront a flashback? I mean, what does 'processing' it mean?

I don't understand why I have to keep feeling this way before my mind processes it. I don't understand what my mind is trying to do.

[Fraction]

In the short term it's about keeping yourself safe and allowing yourself time to recover from the flashback. Elsewhere on RYL are some tips on grounding yourself during the flashback. Flashbacks are draining and upsetting so it's a good idea to allow yourself time to rest and recover afterwards.

In the long term it's that annoyingly vague concept of "coming to terms with it"... Are you in therapy? Are you able to talk to anyone about what the flashbacks are about?

Hang in there, I know it's scary and overwhelming. Here if you need support x

[starseeker]

i get this! like exactly this!
ive never known how to explain it but i think youve worded it spot on. unfortunately i have no advice but i can tell you that i can relate to this so much and im sorry you had to go through it. x