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how do I cope with mind games
I was wondering if anyone was going through what I am at the moment, I have been married for nearly 30yrs, but it hasnt been the best marriage, for the last 10yrs the marriage has hit rock bottom, but I cant get out of it, my husband has said I am married to him for life and will make things very hard for me if I leave. He plays mind games with me all the time, doing things that wind me up and saying hurtful things, there has been a couple of smacks as well, at the moment I am sleeping down stairs, and too complicate things I have met someone on the internet who now lives with me and him, she is also my carer he is not bothered. Recently I went into hosp for a major op sadly things went wrong and I ended up in intensive care for about 4mths, he only came to the hosp twice and the night Lea was told I would prob not make it he didnt even come to the hospital. Lea was at my side everyday nearly and gave me huge support. He told me and the nurses that he cried his eyes out one day as he thought he was going to lose me. to cut a long story short when I came out of hospital he didnt care and started his mind games again which when he does this I find it hard to cope and end up self harming in some way. its not just now and then its everyday. A couple of weeks ago he went for me and tried to get me to go back at him, but I just walked away. but the pressure has just been building up inside of me and a few days ago I self harmed I feel that I have failed and he has won, Lea and I are trying to get out of here but it is not easy as we have to go to the council for help. so I dont know what to do at the moment, each night I wonder what the next day is going to bring its always bad news at the min, I just wish I coulld have someone to talk too.
feel like I am going mad as that is what he called me.
hope someone can help
thankyou
susie
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