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another day...
Dear anyone who bothers to read,
Today was the most useless day on earth. I forced myself to wake up at a reasonable time but it didn't matter, i didn't get out of bed till the afternoon. After asking around a few people if they'd like to meet me and being turned down each time i forced myself to go out the house to the park. That sounds like a postive move doesn't it? It's not. I only did this out of shame and not wanting my flatmates to talk behind my back about me being a recluse....my paranoid side assumes they do this although quite honestly i doubt i'm that interesting for them to discuss! Anyway, i got to the park and forced myself to wander around, it was hard work making my legs move. I kept thinking i'm being watched so did all the things people would expect someone to do in the park: i walked around an appropriate amount of time, i sat and read a few pages of the book i brought, i then went to see the rose garden, and with each step trying to tell myself 'this is a good day'.
After about an hour or so I couldn't fake it anymore and figured my flatmate would be out. I came back home, saw her window open, freaked out so sat in the sweltering car till i realised she had just left her window open. I went to my room and have been here ever since. Not a single person has bothered to call or text but then again nor have i....
This is my existance. It is pretty damn lonely. I am not coping that well at the moment.
There is absolutely no point to this post...and ironically that summarises my life too.
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