should i go to the doctors?

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so in january i went to the GP, got diagnosed with depression and was on antidepressants for a while. I ODed in april and the hospital contacted my GP, and I havent been to the doctors and they havent contacted me or anything. I felt ok for a month or so but the last few weeks i've been bad again. not getting dressed, not going out, cutting, anxious about the tiniest thing, feeling really down and cant be happy without alcohol. and i have a resit exam in 4 days i know im going to fail and not get back into uni.

i nearly ODed last night (my friend stopped me). I know i need help but i'm scared. i feel stupid and lazy. i'm scared im going to drink and end it all. what if they ask me about the OD from before? i told the hospital i was just hurting myself but i actually wanted to die. im just anxious about talking about it, about any of it.

i guess im just after some reassurance, some support and just some general advice. ive been doctors before but this time seems worse because of my anxiety that's set in the last few months.

i'm scared, please help me
please

sorry if this is the wrong place

[no point]

i'm sorry you're struggling right now. i think you should get help. i understand going to the doctors can make you nervous. i'm that way as well. will writing things down and showing to your doctor help? i hope you manage to get help for this. good luck in your exam as well. *hugs*

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thanks for the support

do doctors mind if i write down stuff and give it to them? isnt that a bit wierd?

[sherlock holmes]

Lots of people find it easier to write things down to give to the doctor. Although you have to bear in mind that sometimes the doctor wont have time to read a lot, or may want you to read it out yourself. But even writing down some bullet points of what you want to say can be really helpful when you get there.

I think that whatever they ask, you should try to be as honest as you can so that you get the correct help. I used to lie to doctors and the only person that suffered for it was me, as it took years longer for me to recover and to get the right help.

They may want you to resume the antidepressants, or to refer you to the community mental health team who are a more specialist group of people who can arrange to see you often to give you support.

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thanks :) thats really helpful.

im just scared of questions, and the answers. i'll lie, i know i will. its stupid i know but i think im still in denial about it all. and i hate relying on a pill to be normal.

i suppose i should decide if im actually going to go or not.

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so basically i've emailed someone at uni about my extenuating circumstances for my exam on monday.
I'm so scared, she wants me to see her AND get an up to date medical note. I'm embarrassed that i havent been to the doctors for so long and it might look like im only going for the medical note.
Now my flatmate wants to book me a doctors appointment for next week. im so worried but i guess its for the best. he says i should go for counselling too but im even more apprehensive about that. i just couldnt imagine opening up to a stranger.

I feel like my whole world is crumbling. theres just too much, my mum and her boyfriend splitting up and moving AGAIN, and my friend might be living with me and uni starts soon. Not to mention the usual rubbish that runs round and round and round in my head.

and shes talking to me again
its just so overwhelming

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just realised the above post would be better off in serious so im going to post it there too