I was extremely, extremely shocked by the rudeness and aggressiveness of some people today. My brother, a colleague and I were sitting in a Cafe talking about plans for a film on Mental Health problems, whilst also delving into some funny ideas and the usual mindless bollocks we talk about.
This guy and his wife were leaving the table next to us. As he left he came up to me and said, very passive-aggressively, “I hope you are proud of the fact you ruined our lunch” and walked off. I was left utterly speechless.
What, exactly, was it I said that was so ruining to their lunch? Was it the fact we were talking about mental health and mental illness in the open? Was it the fact we talked about attitudes to mental health in the 1950′s compared to now? We also talked about how some words are stigmatising in how they are used (like asylum, which actually was a positive word as they were seen as places of health and religion up until the 1900s), as well as the problems with self-stigma. Or was it the fact I was talking about the fact that, when drugs were legalised in other countries, drug use actually went down and rehab rates went up? Or were we just speaking too loudly?
Although I was left feeling extremely upset for a while, what fascinated me was the whole group dynamic after this “man” suddenly left. Had I been on my own the event would probably ruined the rest of my day as I would just constantly be dwelling on it. However, with friends around me I guess I was able to test out those assumptions of whether I was bang out of order or not. Actually, we came to the conclusion he was the one more out of order, as he was not willing to debate what we had done wrong or why, he left us with that comment to do nothing but make us feel bad. Had he had asked us to keep a little quiet if that was the problem, or disliked something we said and asked us about it, then maybe we would have been left feeling apologetic and wanting to be a little more accommodating, as well as more understanding of his needs in comparison to our own.
As he left it, he came across as an extremely ignorant and discriminatory, that obviously feels that these issues shouldn’t be talked about in public.
Next time I'll just remember to ask what the big deal was!!
I cant see anything that you did wrong some people think that mental health should be some thing to keep quite about but in this day in age we should be open about mental health just like your were doing be proud of yourself for doing that
he is an asshole you get them in life uncomfortably but dont let that put you off from talking about mental health and mental health issues in public
Thanks for that, I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought that! I just cannot believe he had the nerve to come up to us and say that, when we had every right to talk about whatever we want within reason! It wasn't like we were swearing or particularly loud!
What gets me the most though is the fact I have no idea what his problem was!
I agree - you didn't do anything wrong, you were just having a conversation. I mean if you were shouting and swearing, which I assume you weren't, I'd understand it, but it's nothing to do with him what you and your friends talk about.
Half the reason mental health is stigmatised is because people don't talk about it, when it's something that needs to be spoken about.
And he was just rude to interrupt you like that.
You are a wonderful creation.
You know more than you think you know, just as you know less than you want to know.
Oh no, not funny ideas that made fun of mental illness at all. It was separate stuff to the film we were making.
I spent half the time talking of my own mental health problems, so unless I was severely misheard I wouldn't have given the impression that I was making fun of it. I couldn't live with myself if other people even thought that.
if you were ruining his lunch he could have moved seat
lol, it's funny you should mention that, cause apparently before me and my brother arrived the husband was apparently arguing cause the wife wanted to sit on the other side of the cafe where there were comfy seats. I guess karma sucks!!
