Triggering (SI) - I think my friend started cutting again.

JessAnon · 25-08-2010, 01:19 AM

My friend used to cut. It was for a period of around a week a couple of months ago, before a friend and I managed to convince her to stop. Now, she's exhibiting all the same things I saw in her when she was cutting and I'm so worried. I don't want her to have to go through this. She thinks I'm completely SI free now, but she doesn't know how hard it is to resist.
I'm so scared for her, and it's already resulted in a fairly bad slip-up. Anyway, never mind about me.
Does anyone have any advice so I can help my friend?
Thanks for any replies in advance xXxXxXxXx

sbr2011 · 25-08-2010, 01:26 AM

how about you tell her what you go through and how hard it is for you. maybe you could be like her counselor (but only if it doesnt put too much pressure on you)
i dont know ...im just suggesting.. i dont know anyone personally who cts so i dont know how it would work

JessAnon · 25-08-2010, 01:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jaz11

how about you tell her what you go through and how hard it is for you. maybe you could be like her counselor (but only if it doesnt put too much pressure on you)
i dont know ...im just suggesting.. i dont know anyone personally who cts so i dont know how it would work

Thanks for your help. I'll try it xXxXx

88shelz · 25-08-2010, 01:34 AM

you could direct her here and just be ther for her.
as im sure you are aware she must have a problem of some sort in her life to resort to this behaviour and this is her way of coping with it. i wish it was as easy as telling someone that thye have to stop...but again im sure you know that its not that easy at all

JessAnon · 25-08-2010, 01:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 88shelz

you could direct her here and just be ther for her.
as im sure you are aware she must have a problem of some sort in her life to resort to this behaviour and this is her way of coping with it. i wish it was as easy as telling someone that thye have to stop...but again im sure you know that its not that easy at all

That would be a good idea, thanks. I'm just really hoping it'll be easier for her to stop since it's a new thing to her. Maybe that's naive. Thankyou for your time xXxXx

TheOnlyOne · 25-08-2010, 10:05 PM

The first thing you need to do is take care of yourself. You cannot help her stop hurting herself if you're doing the same thing.

Also, bear in mind, you cannot make her stop. She has to decide to change. If you wanna help her, confront her, ask her if she's cutting, and ask her if she REALLY wants help.

If she refuses to stop, then you may want to distance yourself from her. It would affect your recovery, and it wouldn't help her if you're a mess, anyway.

Horizon · 26-08-2010, 01:58 AM

I agree that you need to take care of yourself first, especially if worry is giving you urges to self-harm.
The bottom line is that your friend is responsible for helping herself, and is the only one who can decide when she's ready.
I would not completely distance myself from a friend like this, because that seems like abandonment, but setting clear and healthy boundaries for both of your sakes might be a good idea.
Do you know for sure she is harming herself again?