Triggering (OD) - bpd and social services

[xanthismom]

Hi
I have bpd and took an overdose on sunday and 2 weeks before i was discharged from the medical ward the next day both times aftyer seeing crisis team but sunday a nurse asked me details about my daughter saying they have to refer me to social services i live with my mom and my daughter my mum is 100% stable no problems what so ever we had social involed november 2008 there was no concerns but today a social worker called saying my self harm has gotten worse my daughetr has never wittnessed me do anything to harm myself as my mum has always been home caring for her when im down i am just so scared they will take her away from me even tho i live with my mom who like i said has no problems whatsoever im getting very paranoid and scared as my daughter is my world any advice if any of you have had social involved with your kids due to mental health my daughter is 7 and the school no all about me and my bpd and the educational psycholigist is aware also and each report states she is a happy contented child x

[PassedExpectations]

i don't know what the legal/social rules are so i can't help there....

but i really really really hope that they don't take her away from you *hug*

[88shelz]

i hope everything goes wel
i have no experience of this.
as long as the child is cared for,safe and happy i think things should be ok

[Sleepless123]

Hey im sorry all this is going on - it must be really scary and horrible.

i really hope it all gets sorted out.Please let us know and keep reaching out for support.

Do you know what is going to happen next?Like is the social worker gonna visit again etc if you dont mind me asking?

Also have you asked the social worker why they are involved and what they intend to do?It maybe that they feel your daughter is safe but just had an obligation to check or especially if they were worried about your level of self harm perhaps thought you may cope better with life if you had more support.

They have no ideas about taking your daughter away at all and may be able to reassure you if you can be brave enough to share some of your worries - i know that must be so scary/hard to though, to voice and speak exactly what you fear.

But it may be worthwhile in the wrong one.Remember at the moment there are a number of paths they could go down or choose to do nothing at all.

They would have to be really concerned for your daughters welfare in order to try and take her away and i dont know your whole circumstances but from what you say i dont think it sounds like they could ever have that level of concern really or would find it hard to justify having especially as you are living with your Mum and she is stable.

Good luck and take care.Keep us infromed if you can/want to.

Thinking of you and sending many good wishes.

xx

[Pomegranate]

I have no experiences as a parent of a child but I do have experiences as a child in that environment. Our family had to have fairly regular contact with social services because of my mother's mental health condition. Just because I did not physically witness her harming herself most of the time, does not mean I was not effected and social services were aware of that. I seriously doubt your daughter will be taken off you (my sister and I were never formally taken into care despite my mothers mental illness and hospitalisations). It is even less likely if there are other family members to step in when you are particularly unwell.

I don't think you should avoid these assessments though. If I were you I would use your kids as a reason to try and get better. My sister and I were not stupid...my Mum thought we didn't notice and we did...I think most kids are like that.

[Albemarle]

Again, I have no personal experience of this as I do not have children, but I do have experience of advocacy and work with a national advice organisation.

Are you based in the UK? If so, I can PM you some places / organisations who could help you with legal advice etc.

In the interim I would say that firstly from what you say, you are a great mum to your daughter and you are very careful about making sure your MH issues don't impact on her at all. If you are worried about Social Services, from what I know of people who've had similar situations in the UK, the key thing is to gather evidence to prove that your daughter is safe, loved and happy.

E.g. the school and educational psychologist could be asked if they would produce reports verifying your daughter's wellbeing and you mum could also write a letter or something giving her views as someone who lives with you and your daughter.

I would also suggest, if you are particularly worried, getting some legal advice and advocacy in place as basically the more evidence and support you have, the more easily you can demonstrate to Social Services that there is no cause for concern and get them to document this on your records so that this issue hopefully won't come up again.

Good luck, I wish you the best.

[xanthismom]

I guess advantage is we have reports from school,educational psychologist from july this year Pediatrician medical and from my cpn i also spoke to my therapist at my STEPPS group i attend and he said very little chance she would be taken from as i live with my mom and my mom is always in the house with when im depressed or down also from a few other people experiences with social services it was all positive so im feeling more positive and still waiting on the letter giving us a date for a house visit but will keep you all posted and upto date x

[ThinkingofRecovery]

I'm glad you are feeling more positive hun.
xxx