For a long time now i have felt the effects of how RYL has changed as an old member i have been around and see the changes that have happened.
I remember a time when you could post and people would reply write back with support however it feel like RYL has clicks of people now and people reply to only people they know!
Makes it hard for new people to come in!
Where has the community group sprit feeling gone!!!
(just what i think)
Don't walk behine me I might got you lost!
Don't walk in front of me I may not follow you!
Don't walk beside me the path is to small!
All we can do is walk our own paths,remember your not alone because we are all walking our own paths together!
well when i joined a few years back (2007 i think) it was very clicky back then too and i found it hard to get replies so i dont think it has got worse in particular i think its always been that way. unless ofcorse you are talking about before the time i was on here. im not saying its good though, its not at all!
Cliques are going to happen whenever there is a large group of people - it's only natural.
IMO it's hasn't changed THAT much in terms of the cliques etc, because I think that RYL has always had that. & There isn't really anything anyone can do about it.
As for people to replying to only people that they know, I don't think that's the case - yes they are more likely to respond to them first but I don't think it stops them from posting support to another member that they haven't never spoken with before. People reply to things where they feel they have something to contribute, feel as if they have something to say on the matter, or have a suggestion to add to the thread/conversation. I've seen plenty of people offer support to a member they don't know.
So I don't think the cliques affect the support aspect.
DILLIGAF
"it’s when you’re acting selflessly, that you are at your bravest"
- Four.
♥
when it was changed to RYL I’m talking way back it was meant for everyone to get support well now if you are a browser and the odd time you post forget it!
I hate that, I don’t remember it being this bad really I just feel that people are coming here and we advertise our self's as a community but in fact we are groups click's of different people.
I don’t have time to read everything posted in a day but if i check a forum and there are messages in there with no replies i always reply even if it’s just to say thinking of you or your not alone even if i can’t offer support emotional or otherwise.
In life as Self-harmers we are all looking for people to except it except us in many ways so why are we in effect doing the same to people on here I just can’t get my head around it any of it!
Don't walk behine me I might got you lost!
Don't walk in front of me I may not follow you!
Don't walk beside me the path is to small!
All we can do is walk our own paths,remember your not alone because we are all walking our own paths together!
I kind of do see that people do reply to others they don’t know but it hard to explain like simple when someone posted say the day before and 20 people have viewed it and no one person have replied publicly you don’t know if they have sent a private message but still i hate that that happens
Don't walk behine me I might got you lost!
Don't walk in front of me I may not follow you!
Don't walk beside me the path is to small!
All we can do is walk our own paths,remember your not alone because we are all walking our own paths together!
I hate that, I don’t remember it being this bad really I just feel that people are coming here and we advertise our self's as a community but in fact we are groups click's of different people.
As I said before, since the site changed to Recover - alot more people have joined and with any big community Cliques will form, and they will hang out and talk to each other more, rather than chatting with people from other Cliques. It's normal when there is a large group of people together or within a community - there is nothing that can be done to change it.
I do understand where you are coming from though, with the support aspect. But I think people do try to reply to people they don't know, but sometimes the threads with 0 replies are posted late at night when not many members are online and the site isn't at it's most active - Again nothing can be done to change this.
You have to remember - the view count isn't just from members, it's from guests too. So when it says 20 views, that could be from just 2 members and 18 visitors.
People do write back to members if they have something to contribute or see a way to offer advice or support to the member that started the thread - but alot of the time if they don't have something to say or any advice to offer then they might just click the "hug" button (which personally, I don't like).
DILLIGAF
"it’s when you’re acting selflessly, that you are at your bravest"
- Four.
♥
i think general concensus is, people make RYL what it is, the attitude of the regular members here is different, people change, its natural, and RYL will never be like it was.
i think general concensus is, people make RYL what it is, the attitude of the regular members here is different, people change, its natural, and RYL will never be like it was.
Im not saying at all that RYL should be what it was but really in support terms are we doing the best we can for others i dont think RYL as a community is!
I know that it wont change just because i have expressed my self and i know as different generations of people access our site it will change its nature i just think its not the right kind of change and i think that if we all made a decision that we check one forum every few day and make sure the latest posts have been replyed to then there would be general support for everyone!
Don't walk behine me I might got you lost!
Don't walk in front of me I may not follow you!
Don't walk beside me the path is to small!
All we can do is walk our own paths,remember your not alone because we are all walking our own paths together!
Back to the op, it goes to the saying "if you dont like it leave", of course ryls going to change its not going to stay the same, but sometimes people dont know what to say, dont have easy problems, and some people dont like posting *aww hugs*, and some people get so impatient that they havent had a reply an hr later and do the whole "oh no one wants me here then ect"
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
Back to the op, it goes to the saying "if you dont like it leave", of course ryls going to change its not going to stay the same, but sometimes people dont know what to say, dont have easy problems, and some people dont like posting *aww hugs*, and some people get so impatient that they havent had a reply an hr later and do the whole "oh no one wants me here then ect"
Umm. Don't really know about this... Seems like a bit of a generalisation. Not everyone who is dissatisfied with RYL is impatient. I can imagine that annoyance with RYL, would probably develop over a long period of time coupled with a desire to be accepted, that is never really fulfilled, etc... Members may look at particular threads and feel intimidated about joining in. Others may frequently ask for help and never really get it, in comparision to other, more well known members.
I do agree that there may be some 'cliques' on RYL however of the main reasons that i've never been part of one, is that i'm just not on here enough. I don't go on chat and I often take long breaks from being on here.
But I've never been put off by the fact that i'm not incredibly well known.
In my case, I believe that i've only got from RYL what i've put in and I can't really complain if i'm never on here.
I know I'm still fairly a newbie to this place however, I've moderated over 40 forums of the years and I must say this forum is totally different than anything I've ever encountered. Heck, I'm still learning the ropes here with my posting because the mods either delete or move my threads but i can't get mad at them because I'm not familiar with the rules
as far as "cliques" goes... those take place on every forum so it's really nothing new in the overall grand scheme of forumsville.
Now somebody mentioned the chatrooms as being very "cliquish" and from my observations I feel that their might actually be a need for one of those adult over 21 type chatrooms for those members who need advice on how to handle their children, marriages, divorces, abuse, sexual addictions, ect, ect.
Yordi, thats what the the vets is for, there are four chat rooms and you can talk about anything, we dont need loads and loads, and plus under 21s can go through the same things.
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
RYL changing is more of your state of mind on ryl, than ryl actually changing.
QFT!!
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
