Holding you back?

moke · 10-08-2010, 03:37 PM

Does anyone else find that even when they're not in the middle of an "episode" (hate that word), their MI holds them back?

I've been offered a job that sounds "ok", I can do what needs to be done, and the pay's good... but it's more challenging than what I'm doing now, and I am panicking about taking it because if I fall apart again I won't be able to do the job and will probably end up losing it.

My current employers are really lovely, and very understanding of my issues, having let me take time out to go to therapy and encouraged me to do what I need to do to be healthy. I'm scared of moving jobs in case I end up with an unsympathetic employer :-/

I'm going round and round in my head one minute thinking I'll take the job cos it's such a good payrise and suits me quite well when I'm "up". But then I think about it and decide not to take it because I *know* I will get depressed again as it's always been cyclical and has always come round over and over again for the past 12 years.. then I won't be able to do the job, people will look at me like I'm a sicknote and I'll end up getting MORE depressed because of that.

I'm probably going to decline this job but I know I'll hate myself for doing it because it's just my stupid mental health holding me back again :(

Does anyone else find this? Or have any methods of coping with it? Thanks.

NeverBetter · 10-08-2010, 04:12 PM

*mssive hugs*
not sure what advice to give just letting u know im here if u need me
i know what u mean my mental health holds me back all the damn time and yes indeed it's so frustrating

Skye37 · 10-08-2010, 05:53 PM

I don't have much advice for coping with this, but I struggle with this a lot too. I'm sorry that you do as well.

Take care. xx

moke · 11-08-2010, 08:29 AM

Well, it's just nice to know I'm not alone in that respect!

Thanks guys <3 *hugs back*

silent · 11-08-2010, 09:17 AM

Again, I dont have much advice, although I would say, Talk to the new employer, that way you can at least find out how they will/can support you.
As for it holding you back. I totally get that.

xx

moke · 11-08-2010, 09:26 AM

Thanks, Silent. I had contemplated telling him outright, but the sort of person I think he is.. I don't feel like I can. He's been quite pushy on the occasions I've spoken to him, quite hardnosed etc. Obviously I could totally be misjudging him, but I think my reticence to talk to him suggests that I probably wouldn't get on well with him in a working environment anyway. I dunno, maybe I'm making up excuses!

I have another job interview tomorrow for a job I know I can do even when I'm low (as a writer)... so perhaps I just need to angle my search more at this sort of thing, even though it's harder to get into...